Page 49 of Forbidden Love

“Where is she?” he asked, pulling me back just enough to look down at me.

“Vegas, I gave her the money that I keep saved in the safe for her to get out there to get her mind right,” I admitted.

His expression didn’t change much but I saw relief behind his dark eyes. I loved how much he loved our daughter. It was overbearing but he meant well. There was so many dead-beat ass niggas that didn’t even acknowledge their kids. Casper was the total opposite. He would give his life for Yeremy. He nodded his head then tightened his grip on my waist.

“Alright, let’s get some rest then.”

I blinked my eyes and frowned.

“Huh?”

He released me and took my hand without asking. He led us to my bedroom.

“We will figure this shit out in the morning. I wanted to go to her tonight, but I think you right about letting her be for a minute. All of this been stressing me. I thought about killing Sol, but I didn’t. I love the little nigga, I just don’t think he good enough for my Yeremy. I wanted her to have the world, Benita. I never wanted her to be exposed to some toxic type of love. I understand now that it started with us. We both should have fought harder to show her something different.” He paused from talking and swallowed down hard.

“I needed somebody to place the blame on. That somebody was you. I never got over that shit. A part of me blamed myself for not being there to protect you from them niggas. I killed every last one of them that violated…I was just still stuck on the part of you defying me. You had everything that you’ve ever wanted but still defied me when I left to handle business. I needed—” His voice cracked.

We stood outside of my bedroom as he looked me deep in the eyes. We never talked much about the past but maybe this was needed.

“I needed you for a change and you weren’t there. It cut me deep…I should have been man enough to forgive and help you work through your own trauma. Instead, I aimed to hurt you after that day. It’s been torture to my soul because I love and think about you as much as you do me.” He sighed.

He placed a firm kiss to my forehead then my nose. He pressed his lips to mine then stared into my tear-filled eyes.

“We gone be good; right now, I need to shut my eyes. I haven’t gotten sleep in days.”

My heart thudded wildly, I could barely process his words, but I heard him and felt him. He was willingly taking me to be with him. I followed him wordlessly. I held on to his hand tightly. Casper sat at the edge of my bed and took his watch over. He sat it next to him then glanced up at me.

“Don’t just stand there all nervous. Come get this shit then get in bed with me.” He kicked off his shoes then stood to take off his slacks.

I smiled and watched his spoiled ass undress in front of me. I picked up his clothes then took it to my hamper. I placed his watch on the nightstand then took his cigar and placed it in my ashtray. Once I was done, he laid in the bed with his hands folded behind his head. I let out a shaky breath and climbed in beside him. I rolled toward him and just looked at him.

“Thank you, Casper. This means a lot to me,” I whispered.

He didn’t say much as I expected. I curled into his side and rested my head on his chest. One of his arms slowly came down to wrap around me like old times. My tears returned gratefully; after all the damage that we both caused, I thought we would never come back to this.

Chapter 25

Yeremy

Two weeks later

Icame back to Cali and used the last of my money to get a hotel for a couple of days. I found a nice two-bedroom condo downtown L.A. Tomorrow was the day for me to see my new place that I had gotten approved for. I felt good about myself and was over all the drama and hurt that took place before I up and left. I planned on using my card later this week to pay my mom back all the money she gave me.

The main reason why I didn’t want to use my card was because I knew Casper would end up finding out where the hell I was. My mom supporting my decision on leaving for a while to get my mind right meant a whole lot to me. A day didn’t pass without her calling to check up on me. Although she was just as worried as I imagined my father to be, she still offered words of encouragement.

I appreciated her so much because for once she had been there for me every step of the way. I missed my dad and planned on going to see him today. It was time for him and I to have a well overdo talk. Things was starting to look up for me. I had a job interview next week at a hospital that would be close to my condo. I mentally let go of Ramsey and took the whole situation with him and Bianca as a lesson learned.

It hurt like hell when I thought about it all. How could people just do other’s dirty especially when I never even thought twice about hurting either one of them. Ramsey and I shared something, that’s what I believed. Once he was gone, all of his skeletons came falling out of the closet. His betrayal echoed inside of me, it felt like a bruise to the heart that refused to fade away.

There is finality in death, Sol made sure of that with Ramsey. But there was no finality in Ramsey’s and Bianca’s betrayal because it still lingered. I didn’t want it to ruin me, ruin how I always gave others the benefit of the doubt. With Bianca, I looked to her as a sister. She was always there like Shardae was.

We confided in each other, lifted ourselves whenever one was feeling down. I never imagined me and Bianca falling out, what she did was unforgivable. Bianca had built a life secretly behind my back. I couldn’t fathom being a fake bitch, sleeping with my best friend man and carrying kids by him.

I wanted to feel better about it and just let it the fuck go. I had to forgive in order to push forward. I even kept saying out loud at night as I laid in bed. “I release.” Just so I could feel the heavy weight of it all lift off of me. I didn’t want to stay stuck on it, I was ready to move pass it and live my life.

As far as Sol, I felt so much confliction. My mind kept going back to the night that he stormed inside of my apartment. The way he coldly killed Ramsey right in front of me. It had to be deeper than what Casper revealed. Today, I wanted to get all my questions answered from my dad and move forward to put it all behind me.

I just couldn’t help to wonder if Sol was really feeling me how he said he was. I still felt a pull that made me feel shameful. How would any of it work in our favor when we started off all wrong. I was confused, hurt, but knew that I had to let him go. Casper wasright, there was no point in getting hurt all over again by another street thug.

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