Page 136 of Rules to Love By

“I’m used to it.” But a niggle of doubt tapped at that coiled spring, threatening to set it off. He pulled in a breath to push it away, and met Eli’s gaze.

“Did it never occur to you maybe you don’t have to exist like that?” Eli asked.

“Only just this second. If I knew how to unwind, don’t you think I would?”

“So let me help.”

“And what happens when you’re not around?”

Eli studied him, which did nothing for the ever-turning corkscrew of nerves. Finally, he sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. “That’s a valid question. I intend to be around, or at least in your life, as long as you want me here. But I won’t always be available to untwist you, it’s true.”

Marcus dropped beside him, hands clasped between his knees. “Do you ever just give the answer a person wants instead of the reasonable and honest one?”

“One of my many shortcomings, apparently.”

Marcus leaned until his head rested on Eli’s shoulder. “I want to let you fix it.”

“But you’re right to think ahead. So.” He turned, catching Marcus and cupping his face.

Marcus closed his eyes, revelling in the heat of Eli’s palms on his cheeks. It was fast becoming his favourite of Eli’s possessive habits.

“If you could have anything at all right now, what would it be?”

“Seriously?” Popping his eyes open, Marcus grinned at Eli. He gripped Eli’s wrists, pushed his hands down, then reached for his belt. “That’s easy.” He could bury the tension under erections and pleasure, and for a little while, everything would be very simple.

“Yeah, of course,that’seasy.” He grabbed Marcus’s wrists in turn but held fast. “Go beyond that.”

“What? Beyond sex?”

“Beyond sex. Because we both know that’ll work for a minute, but what happens when you rebound and all that twisted energy comes screaming back?”

“And out.” A bitter flux of bile rose to the back of Marcus’s throat.

“So ignore sex. If you could have anything at all right now, what would it be?”

Without thinking, Marcus’s attention drifted to the envelope.

“You want to know what’s in there?”

“I just want to know I’m doing the right thing.” He flexed his wrists, but Eli didn’t let go. “She never told me what the right thing was.”

“I thought Iris had all the rules.”

“No. Not Iris. Mom.” His jaw tightened and his bottom lip pushed up, trembled. “I was… five? Six? Seven? And they were babies. I had to keep them safe, and what was I supposed to do? Just sit? Keep them quiet and wait?” Eli still hung on to him, so he couldn’t do anything about the tears wetting his lashes. “I didn’t know they’d take them away. I just wanted the people to leave.”

“Who would take who away?”

Marcus sniffed again, flexed again, and Eli’s grip got tighter. He pulled in a deep, shaking breath, waiting for it to clog somewhere between his throat and his lungs. It didn’t, so he heaved it out again. “They had parties all the time. Mom, and whatever guy she was with at the moment. But this one was endless. I mean, it just went on for days and days. Everyone was so loud, and I was so tired.” He smiled at the silly child he was, thinking they’d just come and make all the strangers go away.

“What did you do?”

“Whenever she went out, she would say if you need help, call 9-1-1.”

“She left you alone?”

“No. The girls were there.”

“Your baby sisters. When you were only seven?”

---