Page 138 of Rules to Love By

“Don’t you make it sound easy?”

“Simple.”

“Right. Not easy.”

“But doable, I think. At least the wine and food and shower are doable. Let’s start there.”

Marcus nodded. The subtle reminder he hadn’t eaten all day, and that maybe some food in his stomach was a better idea than sex, had him agreeing to Eli’s suggestion, so they spread out a towel on the bed and ate picnic-style.

Cheese and crackers wasn’t exactly gourmet, but it did satisfy his grumbling belly, while leaving him not so full he couldn’t lie down after and enjoy Eli’s fingers trailing through his hair.

“That’s my future in there,” he commented at one point, gaze fixed on the envelope waiting for him.

Eli grunted. “Babe, your future is whatever you want it to be.”

“What if—”

Eli put a finger over his lips. “No what-ifs. Just sleeping tonight. We can what-if all you want over breakfast.”

“That an order?” Marcus flicked a look up at him, seeing his concern through the veil of his own eyelashes.

“You certainly don’t have to speculate over breakfast.”

“Very funny.”

“As for tonight, yes. Let me do all the worrying. All you have to do is relax. Empty your mind. Let yourself sleep.”

“Like I have any control over that. How am I supposed sleep knowing everything I need to know is right over there? Wondering if she left me anything but this stupid inability to figure my own shit out or…”

“Stop it.” Eli stroked his hair and kissed the top of his head. “You’re working yourself into a twisted mess again.”

“I don't know how to not do that.”

“Can I ask you something?”

Marcus shrugged. “You can ask.”

“Did Iris ever, well… Did she ever hug you?”

“What?” The question caught him off guard. What did that have to do with anything?

“You know, hug you when you were little. Let you sit on her lap while she read to you. Wrap you up in a towel after a bath and just snuggle you until you were dry and warm?”

“That… wasn’t really her style.”

“Is it yours?”

Marcus’s jaw ached where his teeth ground together. “I don’t know.”

“Want to find out?”

“You think treating me like a little kid is going to help?”

“Not treating you like a little kid. I’m asking about you as a person. About your life. I see the way Tris is always touching you.”

“It isn’t—”

Eli held up a hand. “I know it isn’t. It’s him. He’s affectionate and demonstrative. And you drink it up like a man in the desert. Like you’ll die if he lets go too soon, and that’s okay. Well. Not okay exactly.”

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