Page 49 of Rules to Love By

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s easy to let me take control if all you do is check out and let me take what I want.”

Marcus’s heavy swallow conveyed more than any protest he might have made. To his credit, he didn’t say anything.

“And I’m not saying I don’t want that control.”

Marcus remained silent, but he wasn’t quite frowning anymore.

“What do you want?” Eli asked.

He got a confused look for his efforts. “I was getting what I wanted.”

“Were you, though? Because it seemed more like you were giving me what I wanted, which isn’t exactly the same thing.”

Marcus rolled his eyes. “We were both into it. I don’t know why we’re suddenly negotiating a blowjob. That isn’t how sex works.”

“If you want to give me a blowjob, I’m going to let you. Don’t worry about that.”

Marcus straightened so that he wasn’t leaning on the door anymore, but he still had his hands behind him.

“But you aren’t going to disappear into your head while you’re doing it,” Eli went on. “Not this time, at least. You want that sort of encounter, we absolutely will negotiate it, and anyone who’s ever not talked to you about that beforehand wasn’t doing it right.”

“It’s just sex.”

Eli sighed. This was his own fault. He should have just let things go. But then again, when had he ever? He didn’t do “just sex” and never had. He wasn’t built that way.

“I don’t understand what you want,” Marcus said, taking a step towards him. “Just tell me what you want and it’s yours.”

It wasn’t like Eli was a professional dom or anything close to that. But in the circles he travelled, where no one questioned negotiating the sex beforehand, for everyone’s safety, that kind of offer was dangerous. And Marcus had no clue. “If I told you I wanted you on your knees—”

“I’d be there,” Marcus said. “I’m very good.”

“I have no doubt.” He was also very, very tempting. Too tempting. Too easily taken advantage of, and why? Because a beautiful man didn’t believe he could be enough without offering everything?

“Are you nervous?” Marcus asked. “Because you shouldn’t be. That kiss…” He grinned. “And here I thought you would be shy.”

“Hardly.”

“Then what?” A pallor invaded his cheeks. “Did I do something?”

“Hell no. I’m just used to more… less?” He heaved out a breath. “I’m doing this all wrong.”

“Sorry?”

Again, Eli sighed. “Normally… normally this isn’t really about me. Guys aren’t interested in me as a person, just as someone who will deliver the kind of… control they want. It certainly isn’t about wanting to kiss them or eat a meal with them. But they know what they’re giving when they let me take them to bed. You don’t.”

“It’s just sex.” Marcus stared at him, brow furrowed. “Why can’t we just have a good time together?”

That was a very good question. When had sex stopped being about having a good time together? “I don’t…”

Marcus waited. “What?” he said at last. “You don’t what? Want to? No one is forcing you.”

“No! I do.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

The problem was… when had Eli turned sex into a negotiation? It was easier to outline what he could offer and not think about what he wanted.

He ran a suddenly sweaty palm down the front of his shirt and huffed.

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