Page 53 of Rules to Love By

Marcus grunted. He wasn’t sure he could speak without his throat rebelling and closing up on him.

Eli might have chuckled. Then the next thing Marcus knew, Eli was scooping up Marcus’s junk with a warm cloth.

“Hey, no.” Marcus tried to sit up, but Eli put a heavy hand on his chest, and he didn’t have the energy to struggle and to keep his guts from heaving.

In moments, Eli had wiped him clean, even swiping the cloth over his chest.

“Didn’t have to do that,” Marcus said, eyes still closed. A shiver convulsed, and it was all he could do not to curl in on himself.

“Yeah, I did.” Eli smoothed hair off his forehead. “You earned it.”

“Just a blowjob. Done plenty of those.”

“You always refuse to look at the guy afterwards?” Eli asked, still gentle.

Despite his lethargy and his determination to be cool about it all, Marcus’s eyes flew open. For a second, he stared at the ceiling, but then Eli gripped his chin and turned his head, so he had the choice to fight him or allow it.

He’d allowed every other demand, hadn’t he? Why stop now. He only blinked once before meeting Eli’s gaze. “None of them ever looked past the ‘you’re so gorgeous’ part. That was the whole point of this, wasn’t it?”

Wasn’t it always the point? And why they always left so quickly when they were done? Because the sweating, shivering, gut-sick mess he became afterwards wasn’t nearly as pretty.

“Seriously?” Eli sat on the bed next to him. “That what you think of me?”

He could have been angry, but Marcus didn’t really know how to read him and so couldn’t tell. He opened his mouth, not even sure what he was going to say, but Eli covered his lips with one finger.

“No one is about to deny that youarebeautiful.” He winked. “That’s your cross to bear, I guess. And no one is going to deny that a guy like me doesn’t get this chance with someone who looks like you very often. At least, not in my regular, organic dating life. But don’t, even for a minute, think that is the reason I wanted to be here with you.” He pushed hair off Marcus’s face like the strands were made of glass.

Some of the unease in Marcus’s gut had settled at the first light contact of Eli’s finger. Which was weird, because why should he not be annoyed at being cut off? But still. The usual sharp cramps and cold sweats didn’t seem to be fazing Eli.

“Why are you still here?” he asked, then winced, because wow, that was pathetic.

For a long, long time, Eli just watched him, stroked fingers through his hair, and said nothing. When he finally did speak, his voice was tight and hard, though his words were kind enough. “Because you need me to be.”

“I’m fine.”

Eli’s lips tightened. “I’m going to go run you a bath.”

“You don’t—”

Eli touched his lips with a finger. “You are going to lie here, stay calm, and wait until I come get you.”

Marcus swallowed hard around the unease roiling up again. “Is that an order?”

For a second, Eli closed his eyes, but it was only the barest of pauses before he regained Marcus’s attention and gave a small, tight smile. “Does it need to be?”

Marcus just stared at him.

“That wasn’t rhetorical,” Eli said gently.

“Why are you being so nice?”

The question made Eli want to spit. Not because of anything Marcus had said or done but because what the fucking hell?Nice? He was just being decent. What kinds of douche-canoes had Marcus been sleeping with that very basic aftercare was not just unexpected, but not even recognized?

“Eli?”

“I—” He cleared his throat and forced himself to push the agitation deep. “Sorry.” He even managed a smile, though maybe it wasn’t quite right, because Marcus frowned. “Just… relax, okay? Stay here, and I’ll get the hot water going so you can warm up.”

Marcus nodded.

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