Page 52 of Static/Cling

Bjorn chortled. “We’re putting a pin in that,” he told Kassian. “Sorry, Sal.”

“Not a problem.” They sounded downright cheery, in fact. “If you’re not careful, you two might actually become friends.”

Kassian’s blush deepened.

“I make no promises.” Bjorn said. He wasn’t going to promise something he wasn’t sure he could deliver, and friends wasn’t exactly his anticipated destination.

After they’d paid, they followed the street to the end, then walked along the tracks for a few hundred yards. Roger and Leif joined them as they returned to the sidewalk, a hyper husky in tow.

“Where did you find this beast?” Kassian asked, eyeing the dog.

“He found me.” Roger bounced his ball as he walked. The dog watched it eagerly, but made no move to try and catch it.

“Does he have a name?”

“Faster than—” Roger shot a startled look at the dog. “That is not your name.”

The dog grinned at him.

“I’ll call you Dash,” he said.

The dog offered a sharp little bark and danced down the walk ahead of them.

“Faster than what?” Sal asked, amused. “What does he think he’s faster than?”

“Oh, it’s gross,” Roger assured them. “He’s a dog.”

“Meaning?” Bjorn asked, curious.

“Dogs interpret the world through scent,” Roger said. “Food, pheromones, piss, shit. Perfectly normal to them.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets. “Not exactly the same as us, though.”

“Think of the worst adolescent toilet humour you know,” Sal said. “Triple it, and that’s dog, only to them, it’s just conversation, no shock value.”

“So how exactly do you talk to them?”

Roger shrugged. “I talk. Same as to you. They aren’t stupid.”

Sal made a noise.

“They aren’t.”

“I’ve met some of the dogs you think are the total shit, Rog. They aren’t geniuses. Even for dogs.”

“You just don’t get the hidden genius of them. A dog who speaks human is great, sure. Like a German Shepherd orsomething. Awesome. A dog who can speak human and dog without being an ass about it is something else.”

“What do you mean, being an ass about it?” Leif asked.

Roger shrugged. “Dogs people think are really smart tend not to be besties with other dogs.” He glanced at Kassian’s back. “Like how super jocks are, you know, not always super in other areas.”

“They’re bullies,” Leif guessed.

“Sometimes, yeah. Sometimes just not so great at admitting a weakness. Sort of full of themselves, and not interested in communicating with me, so much. Like they’re better than speaking to me in their own language, because I’m not as fluent, but without acknowledging that maybe they aren’t as fluent in human as I am.”

Leif nodded.

“Secret Life of Pets, The Sequel,” Bjorn said.

Roger smiled at the ground in front of him, pleased. “Yeah,” he said softly.

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