Page 4 of Lace

“Don’t, Caleb,” Levi warned. “You don’t want me to assume I know what you’ve been through? Don’t assume you know whatIhave.”

Caleb glared at his lover, but with little heat. “Be reasonable, why don’t you?” he groused, impressed under his annoyance how Levi always managed to be so calm.

Levi grinned. “It’s what I do.”

“I know.” Caleb leaned down and pecked his cheek. “It’s irritating.” But he managed a smile through the anger still simmering in his gut.

“And you love me despite my irritating qualities.” Levi looked smug. “Like I love you and yours.”

Caleb frowned. Was that a dig? Some veiled hint about the hidden lace? He wasn’t sure.

“What’s going on in there?” Levi touched a fingertip to Caleb’s forehead.

“Nothing.” Caleb jerked away from the touch. “It’s just. Nothing. It doesn’t matter.” The sweatshirt had been a sweet gesture, right? One of protection, not one of embarrassment. Hadn’t it?

Levi sighed. “Don’t let that asshole get to you, Cally.” There was frustration in Levi’s gaze, but he ran a comforting hand up and down Caleb’s arm and stepped a little closer.

Caleb freed his hand. “Sometimes it feels like you don’t actually care how they treat me.”

“I don’t,” Levi said, then grimaced. “I mean, I care about you. Just that I don’t give a rat’s ass what anyone thinks. Not about you, or about us. They can all go fuck themselves.”

“Whatever.” Caleb dodged past him to stomp towards the exit and their dorm. “While you be all hippy zen, mind if I go blow off some steam?” He hurried past the last few stragglers, crashed out the door and past the streetlamps glowing along the path into the darkened, landscaped quad and the cooling fall evening.

It shouldn’t matter. He dug his hands into the hoodie’s pockets and glared up at the velvety indigo sky. It shouldn’t, and he knew that. But it did. Seemed as long as he could remember, every time he turned around, someone like Larry Shank had been there with hard glares and harder fists until Caleb had learnt to fight back. Then the needling had begun. The insidious comments, whispers, the mocking that could never be traced back to anyone specific. They didn’t always threaten physical violence. Not if they knew Caleb could meet them blow for blowand they might get hurt. No. They kept the jibes just under the radar, and Caleb had no defence against that. And no proof.

All his life, he’d been taught, on the end of a pointed tongue or a brutal fist—blend in. Conform, and you won’t have a problem. Bring it up to a teacher? He was told to ‘“get along.’” Tell his father? He was informed, ‘“Drivers don’t get bullied, son.’”

His mother was too busy, too tired, too… vacant to do anything about it.

His uncle ignored it all, including when Caleb fought back physically, but then, he would. He was a physical guy himself, and he got the eat or be eaten world Caleb lived in.

Then there was Levi. Levi who he wanted to believe only meant well, only wanted good things for them, for Caleb. But who never quite said out loud that Caleb’s quirks were okay.

Snarling, he ground his fists deeper and kicked at a soda can, sending it clanking along the paved path. He was twenty-three years old and bullies still made him want to run and hide… or turn and swing. And now it was Levi telling him it didn’t matter and he should just walk away. Because Levi didn’t look gay. Didn’t act gay, probably didn’t seem gay until he was side-by-side with Caleb. Then he could be the bigger person because he hadn’t been subjected to this shit since he was old enough to even know what gay really was.

But then…

Caleb fingered the frill peeking from the hem of the hoodie. It wasn’t about his being gay. That was just the icing. Shifting his shoulders, he closed his eyes and concentrated on the scratchy delight of lace moving over the skin of his back. It felt good. And right. It reminded him why he stood up and punched back. Because at the end of the day, that slide of fabric over skin, the firm confinement of nylon on smooth legs, cupping him safely—that was a source of peace and a scrap of self-indulgence no onecould rip from him, even if he was the only one who knew it was there.

He tipped his head back and sighed. They could beat him up however they wanted. They could never take that away or change who he was.

“Cally?” Strong, gentle hands clasped his shoulders and began to knead. It took only the instance of a breath before Caleb leaned back against Levi’s broad chest. The darkness hid them from view, and Levi let his hands drift down over Caleb’s front. He nuzzled into Caleb’s neck. “Babe, I know it hurts. I wish I could make that go away.”

Closing his eyes, Caleb caressed Levi’s arms and the other man’s hands moved slowly, skimming over his chest. Maybe he did know, maybe he didn’t. But he did make it go away. At least for a little while, Caleb felt like he belonged there in Levi’s arms, and that had to be enough.

“Forget it,” Caleb whispered, searching for the balance that would let him spring back and put the taunts out of his head. He turned and captured Levi’s face between his hands. If he couldn’t find the balance inside, at least he knew how to plough ahead and find a different equilibrium.

He didn’t speak again, just kissed, plying Levi with determined passion until his lips parted allowing Caleb to plunder his mouth. And there was that gratifying moan, the little gasps and pants that told him Levi didn’t care about anything but how he was being kissed.

They fumbled a few tripping steps until Levi’s back stopped up against the thick bole of a leafless maple. Caleb pinned him there, hard, demanding, lurching his hips into Levi’s until he felt the heavy thickness of Levi’s cock through his jeans.

“Wanna fuck you right here,” Caleb muttered, threading fingers through Levi’s hair and holding his head back againstthe tree trunk. He smeared kisses along Levi’s jaw and down his throat, prised one knee between Levi’s legs and rubbed.

There was something about how Levi’s grip loosened—his hands on Caleb’s arms went from a hard grip to softer, his moans lost their coherency but gained a high fever pitch of urgency and Levi’s body strained to find more contact with Caleb.

“Want…” Levi panted and thrust his hips forward. “Oh fuck, Cally…” He wrapped his arms around Caleb’s waist and moved against him with a kind of abandon that ratcheted up Caleb’s own excitement.

Off to Caleb’s right, voices drifted along, footsteps sounded on the paved path and he plastered his mouth over Levi’s to muffle the volume of his desperate words. The voices passed without slowing and Caleb released Levi’s mouth.

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