Page 131 of Salvation

“I knew this would end up being my fault somehow. Go on, say what you’ve got to say.”

“Rachel, for once in your fucking life, learn to let things lie, yeah? It’s not the time, and neither of us are in the mood,” Vienna said.

“Areyou not?” I breathed, my voice laced with sarcasm. “Oh gosh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realise it was you two who werestabbed today. I’msoinconsiderate. And I suppose it was you two who were almost raped? I haven’t even asked how you are! I mean, that’s what you do when that happens to someone, isn’t it? You ask how they’re doing?”

Dante closed his eyes, cricking his neck from side to side before tilting his head back, closing his eyes and exhaling a deep breath.

“Whatcha doing there, big guy?” I couldn’t refrain myself from mocking him. “Mentally counting to ten? N’aww look at you, listening to good old doctor Ashleigh. I bet she even told you to visualise your anger and slowly let it go. Imagine it’s a pen.”

“Jesus Christ,” Vienna muttered, drinking more of his beer. “Just let it go, woman. It’s been a rough day.”

“It’s fine,” Dante said. “It’s just Rachel being Rachel. Pay her no attention and she’ll soon grow bored.”

“You realise I didn’t start this, right? God, you’re such a hypocrite. You complain that I don’t want you or that I don’t need you. I call you in my time of need, and this is your reaction. You’re acting like this is somehow my fault!”

“And how did I do that, Rachel?” Dante finally snapped back. “I walked in here and got a fucking beer. I didn’t say a word.”

“Exactly. You walked in here with all the enthusiasm of someone heading for the execution block and gave me the fucking silent treatment!”

“Because, believe it or not, I’m pissed off and trying my goddamn hardest to show you a bit of respect and not direct my anger at those who don’t deserve it!”

“First time for everything,” I muttered, pushing away from the bar.

I went to walk out, but before I even got a step towards the front door, Dante had hopped over the bar and snatched my arm, spinning me around to face him.

“What the fuck is your problem?” He snapped at me.

“My problem,” I hissed, ripping my arm out of his grasp. “Is your lack of consideration. Remember how I once told you that my mother would always call me ‘selfish Rachel’? Well, when I’m here, I feel like it’s ‘just Rachel’.”

“I don’t even know what that means!”

“Let me give you some examples. Oh, she was almost raped today? It doesn’t matter, it’s just Rachel. She’s feeling lonely? She’ll get over it. It’s just Rachel. Kitty is always mean to her? It’s just Rachel. Hit her with a contract? She’ll be okay. It’s just Rachel. She’s been sat at home all evening with a head injury, scared to death that her friend might die? It’s okay, it’s just Rachel. We can walk back in here and be cruel to her, and snap at her, and then get mad when she reacts to it. It’s just fucking Rachel. Everything is simply dismissed because I’mjustRachel. I can handle it. It doesn’t matter that I have feelings. It doesn’t matter that I needed you today. It doesn’t matter what I feel. I’m expected to be strong. I’m expected to be what everyone else needs, with no thought or feeling towards whatIneed, because I’mjust Rachel!”

Dante looked stunned for a second. And then he cleared his voice and looked away from me.

“I’m sorry if you felt that way. I’ll admit, sometimes I forget. You act so strong and as though you don’t need anyone, that it’s not always easy to tell when youdo. Like storming out of the hospital today instead of accepting treatment.”

“I did that to allow you some breathing space! I didn’t want you fucking worried about me when you had other things to be dealing with!”

“And how was I supposed to know that, Rachel?” He asked, seeming utterly exasperated. “I can't give you what you need if you don’t tell me. But I’m trying!”

“Are you? Because I shouldn’t have had to tell you that I needed a bit of sympathy today. I shouldn’t have to ask for sympathy. Most normal people with control over their fucking emotions would know that when a woman is almost raped, she would need her partner to be a bit gentle with her!”

“I—”

“Do you even care?” I snapped, and his head reeled back with shock.

“Of course I fucking care!”

“Do you? Do you care about me, or do you care about the disrespect their actions show towards you?”

“Watch it,” he warned, his tone low and deadly.

“Why? Because you weren’t bothered about rape when you were the one doing it—” I had barely finished my words when Dante raised a hand and slapped me around the face.

In a split second, a million thoughts raced through my mind. A dozen emotions raced forward, each battling to be the winner. But it was anger that was victorious, and before I had even recovered from the shock, I was retaliating.

I went with the movement of my body. The slap had forced my head to the side, and I rolled with it, flying to the left and picking up one of the bar stools. I heaved it into the air and launched it at Dante with all the strength I could muster, and then I charged.

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