Page 164 of Salvation

I walked one step behind the coffin, wanting desperately to be with the rest of the old ladies, to grieve with them, but protocol dictated I be at the front, helping lead the procession.

We walked to the graveyard a few miles behind the clubhouse, and as we passed the club, my eyes fell on Vienna’s bike. A sob climbed up my throat, making me choke as my eyes filled with fresh tears. Bee reached up to take my hand, grounding me, even though it should be me grounding her. But we were all taking this hard. She had barely spoken a word. Why should she?

She had lost the man she considered an uncle. After all she had been through, she had lost someone who couldn’t have loved her more if she had been his own child.

Life was so fucking unfair.

Dante was a mess. He was blaming himself, and no matter what I said to comfort him, I knew it wasn’t enough. It wouldnever be enough. He saw this as his own failure. He was the president. He should have seen this coming. As far as he was concerned, he should have been able to predict the attack on Shark. He should have done more rigorous checks before Church, and Vienna would never have been shot.

No one was to blame for what happened other than those who committed the crimes. And all hands pointed to the Riders.

It had only been a few days since the death, and Nico had already delivered us boxes filled with the heads of those who knew about the attacks, or had a hand in assisting with it.

It was a strange way to honour the new agreement he and Dante had in place, but whatever worked for him, I guess.

As we approached the graveyard, I breathed deeply, smelling the flowers we had laid out for him. Flowers he wasn’t ever going to be around to appreciate. That thought almost had me sobbing again.

And yet I knew I couldn’t. These people were relying on me to be strong. They needed me to guide them. They needed a worthy leader. And I would be that for them. I would be right by Dante’s side, showing we could get through this. Showing we could still be strong, powerful… that we could get through this, even with such a profound loss.

We all took our seats as the men gently placed the coffin on the stand and came to join the rest of the club.

Dante came straight to me, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me into him. I went willingly, drawing from his strength. Taking comfort in his warmth.

He was still here. He was still okay. The selfish part of me felt relief at that. Seeing how much losing… Losing him had done to the club.

I couldn’t even say his fucking name!

“Breathe, Rachel,” Dante murmured, kissing the top of my head. I pulled back to see him, his eyes red-rimmed, the bags under them big enough to hold all of our baggage.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“No,” he said simply.

“Me too.”

What else could we say?

Crash hurt. Zach hurt. Hell, even losing the prospects had hurt. No one should die because of their love of motorbikes.

But this? This really fucking hurt.

Hurt wasn’t even an adequate enough word to describe the pain… to describe the overwhelming grief and loss we were dealing with.

The reverend started talking, and I did my best to listen, to engage, to honour their final ceremony, but before I knew it, the service was over without having heard a thing.

As was custom, the men all took off towards the bikes, ready to celebrate their brother in their own way. They would drive through the streets of Leeds, out to the country roads and back again, following his favourite routes. They would be loud, and they would be reckless, but the city planned for this. Streets were shut down and cordoned off to allow the club to grieve. No one wanted to piss off the bikers at a time like this.

“Do you want me to take her?” Heather asked, jolting me back to reality.

“Who?” I asked, blinking at her.

“Bee, darling, come on with me. Rachel needs a moment.”

The tiny hands clinging to my shirt clawed me even tighter as Bee shook her head. “She’s okay,” I replied, bending down low to gather Bee in my arms. “She’s fine with me. It’s where she belongs.”

I pushed the hair out of her eyes and smiled softly at her. “Do you want to stay with me, sweetheart?” I asked, and she noddedquickly, her eyes filling with tears. “Come here. It’s me and you, kiddo. The way it’s always been.”

I pulled her into a hug, wrapping my arms around her tight. I had no idea how long we stayed like that, but I refused, absolutely fucking refused to be the first to pull away. I would stay here all night if that’s how long Bee needed this embrace to last. I would give her every last ounce of comfort she was seeking if it fucking killed me.

---