Page 51 of Salvation

John: Are you coming into work today?

John: It’s not like you to miss a day of work. Tried ringing you, but it went to voicemail.

John: I hope this isn’t because of me. I thought we agreed things wouldn’t be awkward.

John: Stopped by your house and you weren’t there, and neither was the babysitter. Have you gone on holiday and I’ve forgotten?

John: I checked the rota, and you’re due in tomorrow. Are you coming in?

John: Lisa, what’s happening?

Messages from Karen and John flooded in—panicked, suspicious, relentless. Karen’s were filled with worry. John’s crossed a line.

I sent him a quick text letting him know I was okay, and that I didn’t find his behaviour appropriate to be doing home visits. I also told him I would be taking advantage of the accumulated holidays I had earned and taking paid time off. He wouldn’t say no. I then replied to Karen, telling her I was okay, and I would ring her soon.

“Did you tell Rachel about your therapy snake, Bee?” Dante asked, a strange look on his face. He had been watching me check my phone the entire time, and I didn’t like the glint in his eyes.

Bee shook her head, letting her hair fall over her face as she did so, hiding away.

“What’s your snake called?” I signed anyway. She wasn’t looking, but it wasn’t about her seeing—it was about making it normal, about making the language visible, constant.

I was also enjoying rediscovering an old and forgotten skill. I had done a fair few courses when I was in America—especially when I worked for the Gellers. They loved to brag about all the different languages their son knew. Their son was barely fluent in English, never mind the dozen other languages they had him signed up for, but that was neither here nor there. They were paying for the tutors, and that was all that mattered. Money talks.

“Depends who you ask,” Shark said from the floor, bringing me back out of my thoughts and into the snake discussion.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I frowned.

“Officially, the snake is called Snake.”

“Snake?”

“That’s the name Bee wrote on her board,” he said, laughing as he picked Axel up and swung him up over his head. I cringed, knowing that Shark was one second away from getting a big glob of drool landing on him, but that was his own lesson to learn.

“So what else is it called?” I asked.

“Rachel,” Bee signed.

“What is it, honey?”

“No, that’s the snake,”she signed back. She didn’t know all the official signs for some of the words, but I could understand her well enough. For example, for “snake” she just made a snakemovement with her arm. I really needed to schedule her some official lessons so we could improve her speech.

How the club had just ignored this for so long was just…

I wasn’t even sure if I was angry or just… tired. Tired of being the only one who noticed what she needed.

“Your snake is called Rachel?” I swallowed. I was reluctant to criticise when she was finally talking to me, but come on… fuckingRachel?!

“It was dad’s idea,” she signed by pointing to her dad and then pointing at her temples. My head snapped to Dante, who was grinning at me.

Cunt.

“Well, I’m flattered,” I said. “I think that sounds lovely,” I said, repeating the gesture for “lovely” when I saw Bee frown, and then smiled when I saw her bring her hand to her face to copy it.

“Lovely,” I repeated, doing the movement once more. She gave it one more attempt and then dropped her hands, shuffling even further away.

I knew she wanted to talk to me. I justknewthat it was paining her to withdraw herself like this. She was a sociable child, and she had always craved interaction. That same need was still in there, but we just had to find a way to push past this barrier of distrust.

The guilt gnawed at me, and before I could stop myself, my eyes flew to Dante, who was no longer smiling. He caught my gaze and twisted his lips in sympathy. “Give her time,” he mouthed at me, and gave me a discreet thumbs up.

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