Page 78 of Salvation

“Aw, damn, did I miss the animal explosion?” She asked as she walked over to Monster, kissing his cheek.

“You did,” Rachel said, hopping off her stool. “Hi, I’m Rachel. And I think we just became friends.”

Ah, shit.

Chapter 32

Rachel

After meeting Steph, and immediately clicking with her, she decided to hold off walking the dogs until the kids had finished their lunch, and we all joined her on her walk. Bee went on her bike, and we strapped Axel into the trike. It leaned back enough that he could nap if he wanted to, but he was more fascinated by everything going off around him and the dozens of “bears” —which meant the fucking massive German Shepherds and Rottweilers that the club had as guard dogs. There was also a smaller Staffy that acted like the boss of the pack, and I secretly loved him the most.

Steph was lovely to talk to, and we soon fell into an easy conversation like we had known each other for years. It dawned on me that this had been the case with all the other old ladies as well—minus The Birds and Beth, who had still to make an appearance since I’d returned.

Steph ended up calling into work to take the afternoon off, and I called Jenna to join us. She met us with Trex, and we spent the entire afternoon as a unit. There was a pond not far from the compound. Steph gave us some food to feed the ducks, lettingus know that, contrary to popular belief, bread wasn’t good for them. It was a bit weird that she carried around a bag of dead mealworms with her, but I just laughed and accepted her quirks.

Bee’s eyes had widened to an insane level when one of the ducks waddled over to her and ate directly out of her hands. I told her it was because they can sense the kindness and good inside her. Animals are always the best judge of character. She had grinned at me and held her hand out for more food.

When we got back to the clubhouse, we briefly ran into Mama, who had stepped out to get a drink. She shuffled back into her room when she noticed us, and I noticed the happiness Bee had been radiating quickly slipped away from her and she went back to her room.

I made a note to myself to address that situation, and quickly. Kitty couldn’t keep doing this. Not when it was having such a profound effect on the most vulnerable members of this family.

After a long couple of days, we decided to put Axel to bed earlier than usual, and I decided once more to try to have a chat with Bee.

We sat in the front room, with Frozen playing in the background, and a takeout pizza on the table in front of her.

She was once again sitting as far away from me as possible, me on one end of the sofa, her on the other. Dante lay on the floor in front of us, his legs stretched out before us. Without even realising I was doing it, I had reached out to stroke his hair, and his head was currently leaning back on my thigh.

It felt nice. Unexpected, but nice. And it certainly helped with some of the awkwardness that had fallen over us today after the events of last night.

Don’t fucking think about last night!

That was dangerous territory. Not only because I didn’t know what it meant, or where we went from here, but also becausethinking about it would make me want to repeat it. And that would be a colossal mistake.

I noticed Bee shuffle closer, and her hand creep out to grab the shirt of Dante’s leather cut, stroking it between her fingers in her little comforting way. I saw that as my moment to strike.

“Hey Bee?” I said softly. “Can I talk to you a moment?”

She flicked her eyes in my direction, but she didn’t say no.

“So me and your dad were talking, and we thought it might be a good idea for you to take some self-defence classes,” her eyes immediately widened in response, a flash of terror flickering in them, and I quickly shuffled over the sofa and grabbed her hand.

“It’s not because we think you’re in any danger. You’re absolutely not. I am so sorry, because I didn’t even think that’s where your mind would go. I was careless, and I should have known better.”

I looked at her, waiting for some sign she understood. When I saw her nod gently, I continued. Dante twisted, so he was sitting on his side, leaning against the sofa so he could watch Bee as well.

“The reason we brought it up is because there is more to self-defence than just fighting. It’s a defence mentally as much as it is physically. Does that make sense?” I asked. I needed to remember she was just seven years old, and whilst she seemed way older than her age, she was still just a little girl.

She shook her head, and I paused, trying to think how I could explain this to her.

“You’ve been through a lot. And I’m sure there are a lot of emotions weighing heavily on you. It might be sadness; it might be anger. There might even be happiness in there, too. But when all these strong emotions are battling it out inside your mind, it can be difficult to control them. And self-defence classes can help with that. It can help you process what’s happening inside you. Especially as we can’t always see how you’re feeling.”

Bee looked down at her dad, then back at me, and then signed, “how?”

“I was once told that emotions are like balloons. And sometimes, those balloons just like to cling to us. But other times, those balloons are so big, and so powerful, that they can cling to us and carry us away. And that’s really scary. Even for me and your dad.”

She looked at Dante, and he nodded.

“Sometimes,” I continued. “It can feel like there’s no way back down when the balloons take us away. But the brilliant thing about combat and self-defence classes is that they can help us combat those emotions. It helps with discipline, and it helps us to really focus on what we’re feeling. It’s not about just the physical strength, but also about making you strong here, too,” I gently tapped the side of her head and smiled at her.

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