Page 90 of Salvation

I pulled up outside Iris’ house and took a deep breath. It was far too late to turn back now, but that didn’t stop the voice in my head from screaming at me that this was a terrible idea.

I should have rung in advance, but then that would either give me a chance to talk myself out of it, or give Iris the chance to plot her evil fucking schemes. I would never subject my children to her nastiness. And I also didn’t want them to see me retaliate and say shit to her that couldn’t be taken back. Axel had never seen me like that, and I wouldn’t let Iris be the first person he saw me lose my shit with.

I picked a time I knew she would be out of the house—she was always out of the house at this time. She liked to pretend she was part of a book club, when in actual fact she was attending her weekly bitch meeting, slagging off the rest of the community and plotting some weird homeowner’s association thing.

It wasn’t enough that she controlled her own home like a dictator, she wanted to control the rest of the neighbourhood as well. The woman would love it in America, but this was England. We didn’t do that homeowner’s association shit here.

I felt a small hand tap my shoulder, and I turned my head to see Bee frowning at me.

“Hey, sweetheart,” I beamed at her. “This is where my mum and dad have been staying. You remember my mum, right? She was there the night we did the practice lockdown.”

Bee nodded her head, but she still eyed me with suspicion.

She’d known even then it wasn’t a drill—but I didn’t want to dig up that memory.

“I thought it would be nice for you both to get to know your grandparents.”

“They’re not my grandparents,” she signed at me.

“They’d like to be. Come on,” I said, before she could argue any further. “Help me unbuckle Axel, and we’ll go say hello.”

“Why?” she signed, ignoring my request.

“Because… Well, because they’re my parents, and I’m—”

“Leaving soon,” she signed back.

I sighed, my heart breaking. “I’m not leaving, honey. We explained this to you the other night. Even if me and your dad decide we’re not in a relationship anymore, we’re still going to be friends. And Axel and I will still be living in the compound.”

We hadn’t given her the full details, but when Dante was tucking her into bed the day I arrived, he had briefly explained what was happening. We had hoped that it would help with the transition of me coming back into her life, but she still didn’t trust me. I can’t say I blamed her. I knew it was going to take time to earn that back, but I just wished she’d believe me when I promised I was never going to abandon her again.

She’s been burnt too many times before,my inner voice said, reminding me to be gentle with her.

“Come on,” I repeated when she didn’t sign anything back. I climbed out of the car and unbuckled Axel myself, and after a moment’s hesitation, Bee unclipped her seatbelt and climbed out of the car.

The walk up the driveway filled me with nerves, but I forced the feeling down, knowing the kids needed to see me be happy and strong. Axel picked up on my emotions so easily, and Lord knew Bee was fragile at the minute. They didn’t need to see me a nervous wreck when they were probably already filled with nerves themselves.

I knocked on the door, shifting Axel onto my other hip, and waited.

Ever the punctual hostess, I saw my mother’s blurred frame appear through the frosted glass a moment before the door opened and her lips pursed in dissatisfaction.

“Rachel,” she said simply, not bothering to open the door all the way.

Forever shielding me the fuck out!

“Hi, Mum!” I said brightly. Too brightly. I sounded like a Saturday morning children’s TV presenter. Even my mother frowned at me, not expecting any sort of friendly greeting from me. And I never called her “mum” either.

“Can we come in?” I asked when she gave no further response. The word “we” had her snapping out of her trance, her eyes skipping down to Bee, and then Axel on my hip. Her face brightened a mere fraction before she shut it down, closing off to me again.

“Your dad needs his rest,” she said. “You can’t stay long.”

“They can stay as long as they like!” I heard my dad boom from behind her, his loud voice carrying down the hallway. He rushed to the door, pulling it out of my mother’s death grip, and opened it wide for us. A grin immediately split his face from ear to ear.

“Rachel!” He beamed. “And who’s this?” he looked down at Bee and held his hand out to her.

Bee grinned and took his outstretched hand and shook it.

“What a strong grip you’ve got there!” He grinned at her, and I sent a thankful prayer above that he picked up on the situation and didn’t press her for her name. “You’re definitely Dante’s girl with a handshake like that. What a pleasure to meet you! Is this your… brother?” He asked, earning himself a proud nod from her as she looked up at Axel.

---