Page 95 of Salvation

“You’ll be waiting at least six months,” I grinned at her, both of us ignoring the scowl still on Imogen’s face. “Hey, do you think it would count if you threw something, but I was the one controlling your arm?”

“We could give it a go!” she laughed back.

“And you’ll both end up with your arms snapped. Why poke the bear?”

“Because it’sfun,” Jenna huffed back at The Birds. I still didn’t know which woman was which. Since I had been away, they had seemed to merge into one entity in my mind.

Before The Birds could start clucking at us any further, I changed the topic, nodding my heads towards Dante and Vienna. “What’s going on over there, anyway?”

“Oh, same old, same old,” Steph muttered, rolling her eyes. “Vienna is drinking too much, as per usual. Dante went out back for a second and came back in to find Vienna with his head under the beer tap. Dante snuck up on him and held his nose, making him choke, and they’ve been bickering ever since.”

“They’re like a little old married couple,” Jenna said.

“If anyone needs a fucking contract, it’s them two,” I agreed, shaking my head.

“Anyone up for making this interesting?” Steph asked, lowering her voice to a whisper.

“What do you mean?” I replied. Without even realising it, all the old ladies, myself included, had shuffled forward, our heads lowered until we were all bent over the table, hanging on Steph’s every word as though she was about to reveal vital world secrets.

“I’ve got these,” she grinned, reaching into her bag and pulling out a handful of items.

“Are they…”

“Yes, they are. These are all the animals Dante has collected over the past few weeks. I say we order a shit load of shots, and then start throwing them. For every one you manage to land in Vienna’s beard, you take a shot. For every one you miss, you take two shots. Let’s liven this place up.”

Twenty minutes later, we were ready to go.

Not a single old lady had needed any more convincing. I immediately ran over to Dante and ordered thirty shots, ignoring his raised eyebrows and looks of suspicion. As soonas he brought them over to the table, we all fell into a hushed silence, hiding our stash of plastic animals.

He warned us to be on our best behaviour and then once he walked away, we all took a shot for Dutch courage, and we were ready to go.

I didn’t know what I expected from the night—but it sure as hell wasn’t a roomful of women weaponising plastic zoo animals

“I’m going first,” I said, grabbing a small glass in preparation and then looked over my shoulder, seeing where Vienna was.

When he shouted at Shark to bring him a beer, I swung my arm and threw the animal, hitting him on his shoulder.

“Shit,” I hissed, spinning back around. The other old ladies looked anywhere but at Vienna as I quickly downed my shot, trying my best not to laugh.

“I don’t think he noticed. My turn,” Jenna said, grabbing her animal. She downed her shot first, then stood up on the seat and quickly threw it, smacking off the bottles above the bar. She scrambled back down, knocking the empty shot glasses over, and once again, we all quickly turned away, smothering our laughs.

“Dante, do we have ghosts?” We heard Vienna ask, and I can’t even begin to describe the noise that came snorting out of my nose as I tried not to laugh.

“Yeah, Vienna,” Dante muttered dryly. “Macbeth is roaming the fucking halls of the bar, just looking for ways to spook you.”

“Why me? Rachel is the one that killed the fucker!” He hissed, pointing in my direction.

I was going to retaliate, but then I saw Jenna with her head in her shirt smothering her laugh, and I almost broke. I leaned against her shoulder, chuckling quietly, and waited for the next old lady to take her turn.

“Me,” Steph said, and before we could even turn in her direction, she had launched her animal. I spun around just in time to see it smack Vienna on the cheek.

“Fucking hell,” I spluttered, bringing my drink to my face to hide my giggles.

“Right! Something just fucking hit me!”

“I’mgoing to hit you,” Dante hissed back, but he shot a suspicious glare in our direction when he said it. Probably because every single one of us was snorting or giggling like schoolgirls.

“Oh, oh, I get it,” Vienna said loudly, nodding his head. His chest puffed out and he tutted in our direction. “Right. I’m on to you.” He moved to the seat around the edge of the bar, keeping one eye on us.

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