Page 41 of Saved

I woke, still snuggled up to Dante’s chest. His fingers were absentmindedly drawing circles on my back as he stared into the distance.

“You’re very quiet. I know you’re awake,” he murmured, pressing a kiss into my hair.

“How long was I asleep for?” I asked, clearing my throat.

“About an hour.”

I grew quiet again.

It was after midnight. Which meant the day was over. We were passed it. We were both okay.

“You’re quiet again. I don’t trust you when you’re quiet.”

“Funny you should say that” I smiled. “Because I don’t trust us when we’re talking. Quiet keeps the peace.”

“Quiet means you’re plotting.”

“You’re also quiet.”

“I’m just thinking.”

“About what?” I asked, lifting my body up so that I could look at his face. I rested my head on my elbow and waited for him to start talking. “Dante?”

“I’m tired, Rachel, that’s all.”

“It’s been a hell of a day.”

“You can say that again,” he chuckled softly.

“Why didn’t you sleep whilst I slept?”

“You think I could sleep after what’s happened?”

“Have you even tried?”

“Barely half a day ago, I was throwing you out of the club and telling you to go away with your mother. Do you know, when I was tied up in that basement, all I could think about was you and your safety? I would never have forgiven myself if something bad had happened to you. I can’t sleep because all I can think about are the what ifs.”

“That’s a dangerous game to play. What ifs aren’t important, and you’re stressing over events that have already happened, and can’t be changed. There’s no room for rewriting history just to appease the guilt.”

“Rachel, you could have been seriously hurt—”

“And yet I wasn’t. So why are you thinking about it? And evenifI was, it wouldn’t have been your fault. You’re not to blame for Macbeth’s actions.”

“But I’m to blame for bringing you here to begin with. You had a perfectly fine life before I came crashing into it. I put you in danger.”

“It wasn’t a fine life. I was existing. I wasn’t living. I’m living now.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” I said softly, before taking a deep breath. “And Idowant to be here.”

He stayed silent, but I could tell by the look in his eyes he didn’t believe me.

“Hey,” I snapped, grabbing his chin and forcing him to look at me. “When you were gone, all I could think about was your safety. Ask anyone here. I even punched Hacksaw in the face for annoying me.”

He frowned. “What did he do to deserve to be punched?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

---