Page 112 of Harbinger

“To keep an eye on me?”

“The three of you, but, yes, with you being sick, you more so.”

A warmth infused me at her confession.

But I tried to fight it off, because I couldn’t trust it where she was concerned.

For all I knew, it could be gone in a blink.

It could be lost to me.

Just like her.

Oh, hold on.“If this is about your guilt over how this came about, spare me the—”

“It’s not.”

She rose to her feet and I took in the sight of her in a pair of silver and black checkered pajama pants and a white tank. It had to be late then, really late, seeing as though I knew that she went to sleep really late and only really rested for about four hours each night. She was an extremely restless sleeper, one of those who tossed and turned all night in distress. No wonder, considering how much she was shoving down and refusing to allow herself to recognize, acknowledge, or feel.

The surprise of her being here at all in my dorm room and coming to actually check on me, was surpassed when she threw another one out there and came to sit on the other side of the bed. She snatched up the pillow from there and propped herself into a sitting position with it, turning her head toward me. “I’m here because I care about you, and it’s about time my actions showed that.”

“The way you were panicking when I was at death’s door already alluded to that.”

“Well,alludingto it is no longer enough. Not for me, and definitely not for you.And,for the record, I was only panicking because you wouldn’t let me heal you.”

“Your vicious slap made it clear how displeased that made you. I don’t think we need to rehash it.” I shifted weakly on the bed. “And, as you can see, I’m sick. Not really up to another lecture.”

Her lips twitched. “You think you being sick can save you?”

“Won’t it?” I asked, pouting up at her. “Look at me, sweetheart. Drenched in sweat, coughing my guts up half the time, my magic severely compromised, barely able to move, and aching everywhere.”

She actually giggled. “You’re truly maddening.”

“I can’t believe it,” I uttered aloud, before I could stop myself.

“Believe what?” she asked.

“That’s the first time I’ve heard that sound from you because of me since we were kids.”

“That can’t be true.”

“It is.”

She grimaced. “No more.”

“No more what? Holding your giggles hostage from me?”

“No more pulling away, shutting down, or denial.”

I started at her striking words. “Say that again.” To say my mind wasn’t capable of comprehending that didn’t quite cover it. Not after the way she’d been all these years.

“I had a little talk with Nyx. That, combined with everything that’s been happening lately, put certain things into perspective. One of those things is that there’s no more running or standing at a distance.”

“V was right. It was a wake-up call to you.”

“A lot of what’s happened since my party has been.”

I shifted up a little in bed and turned to face her, my head lolling on my pillow because I was still so weak. “I see you wanting it to be different now, but me believing it fully is a whole other thing. I can’t get my hopes up, only to have you pull away again. It’s become too much.” I scrubbed my hand over my face. “With every additional interaction between us, it’s become worse and fucking worse. I need something. Tell me something that demonstrates you’re willing to be drawn in now.”

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