Page 70 of Harbinger

And I wouldn’t let anything ruin what we’d shared tonight.

It had me needing to ease back sooner than I would have liked, and breaking the kissandphysical contact altogether.

She smiled up at me, her gaze hazy with heavy lust that was most definitely reciprocated. “I didn’t see tonight panning out this way.” Her eyes sparkled. “But I’m glad that it did.”

“Me too, gorgeous.” I went to tuck some loose strands of golden hair behind her ears, but stopped myself. My body was still buzzing, so any additional touch between us right now threatened to push me to make more of it, to take more, and risk tainting what we’d shared tonight. So, I stepped back and folded my arms across my chest, asking her instead, “How did it feel? Letting everything go like that while in flight?”

“Incredible,” she breathed. “Just like you described.”

“Good. Hopefully, you’ll consider doing it more often.”

Her smile fell. “It’s more complicated for me.”

“Theymake you feel that way about your power.”

She flinched as my words came out with so much vehemence.

“Vorzyr—”

“It’s true,” I said, stepping up to her again, just shy of brushing against her. As ill-advised as it currently was, I couldn’t stop myself with the subject matter taking me hostage, the needfor her to actually hear me and fucking feel it, too. “You’re a rarity, a miraculous being, and it’s time you recognized that. Let them fear you, let them judge what they can’t hope to comprehend, let them fucking well kneel to all that you are. You’re miles beyond them. You’re not a freak on a pedestal, Ariana. You are astonishing. I felt your power tonight, a portion of it, at least. And I felt how free and exalted letting it out made you. This is who you are. It’s what you are. Stop allowing anyone to make you feel ashamed of that. You deserve better all around. And that needs to start with you.Theywon’t change on their own. You need to make them.” As she stared out at me, taken with my heavy words, I went on, “Own who you are. Liveyourtruth.” I leaned in and breathed at her ear, “Embrace it,goddess.”

When I pulled back, I saw her fighting herself. Struggling.

I didn’t like it. I didn’t like any of it one little bit.

How could I connect with her power if she was tampering it down so much?

How could I connect with her when she wasn’t even being her true self most of the time?

She was the one I’d been searching for, I knew that much. I was certain.

But encountering her in reality… it had been a sucker punch in a way.

Because she was beyond repressed.

She was a shadow of her true self.

Tonight had been different. She’d let go quite a bit and she’d been honest.

But now that was over, I felt that odd emptiness and defensiveness from her again.

That wall.

And, as much as I hated to admit it, Kai’s approach made a lot of sense to me in light of that.

“Tonight was a lot of fun, a great experience. Let’s not sully it,” she said. “I need to prepare for classes tomorrow. I’ll see you.”

Before I could get a word out, she dematerialized in a silver cloud of teleportation.

“Motherfucker,” I ground out into the night.

“See what I mean?”

I spun at the sound of that familiar voice to see Kai suddenly behind me.

“What the—”

“I masked my scent—and other things.”

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