Page 53 of So This Is Love

I let out a breath of air, grateful it wasn’t something more serious but still concerned nonetheless.

“Under control how?”

“Some medication, some changes to my diet and exercise levels,” my mom says, her calm tone a direct antithesis to how I’m feeling. “Unless the man upstairs has other plans, I’m going to be just fine.”

“Why didn’t you call me? Or any of us?”

“Because I didn’t need you, or your sisters, in here fussing over me. You don’t have to worry.”

“I don’t need to worry?” I ask. “Just like I didn’t have to worry about dad?”

“Things with your father were different.”

“Different how?” I ask, confused. “Because to me, the only thing that’s different is that I’m not across the country and can actually be here but still you won’t let me.”

“Not a day goes by that I don’t regret not telling you about your father,” my mom says, taking one of my hands in both of hers. “But he didn’t want you to know because he wanted you to keep living your dreams. He didn’t want you to drop everything.”

“But what about what I wanted?” I ask, emotion causing my voice to catch.

My mom squeezes my hands tighter and looks directly into my eyes. The glossiness of her eyes causes the tears that I was barely holding in, to fall, streaking down my face.

“You’re right, it wasn’t fair and I am so sorry for how that happened. From now on you’ll know just as much as your sisters do, okay?”

I nod. “Okay.”

My mom releases my hand and lays back in the bed. “Now tell me about how those performances went.”

Lauryn and Shannon come in a few minutes into me telling my mom about my time in Baltimore performing with Dez. Shannon slides a chair to the other side of the bed and Lauryn climbs in with mom, sitting cross legged at the foot of the bed.

We all sit and talk, filling our mom in on the things that have happened in our lives since we each saw her last. A nurse comes in to take my mom’s vitals and administer her evening medicine, something to help with her high blood pressure. On her way out, the nurse tells us that visiting hours end in 15 minutes, a not so subtle way to tell us to leave.

Shannon stands and gives our Mom a hug, whispering an ‘I love you’ before quickly leaving.

“What’s that all about?” Mom asks as the door closes.

Lauryn looks over in my direction and I just shrug.

“She’s upset that B brought his girlfriend,” Lauryn says.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” I say as I stand. “We’re just friends, we were together when Lauryn called so she came with me. That’s all.”

“I want to hear more about thisfriend, next time,” my Mom says as I place a kiss on her head and hug her.

“I love you, Mom,” I reply, avoiding her statement.

She smiles a mischievous look in her eye. “I love you too.”

Lauryn and I leave the room together. We hug goodbye and then go our separate ways, her to her car and me to Laila.

I find her in a nearby waiting room curled up in a chair in the corner, asleep. I gently nudge her arm until her eyes flutter open, squinting at the bright fluorescents shining overhead.

“C’mon, let me take you home,” I say, holding my hand out to her.

She accepts my hand and I help her stand and we make our way to the elevators. We step into the elevator and I press the button to take us to the lobby.

“How’s your mom?” Laila asks.

“Yeah she’s good, they’re keeping her overnight, but she’s feeling better.”

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