Page 7 of So This Is Love

“C'mon man we got a meeting to get to.”

Xavier and I ride the private elevator up to the conference room for my meeting. The doors open to a sizable room with floor to ceiling windows. A large table sits in the middle of the room with chairs all around it. At the head of the table sits my manager, Morgan with her laptop open in front of her.

“Well, well, look who finally decided to grace us with his presence,” Morgan says jokingly.

She stands from her chair and I walk over to give her a side hug.

“My bad Mo, we got caught up.”

Xavier takes a seat in one of the chairs further away from us and starts scrolling on his phone, not paying me or Morgan any attention.

I lean back against the table, my hands resting beside me as I wait for Morgan to start talking. She picks up her iPad and starts scrolling through her notes.

“Alright then, let's get to business.”

I give her a nod in agreement and she begins to walk back and forth in the room, something she does alot during our meetings. Other people could see it as nerves but Morgan and I have worked together for a while now and I know that that is the farthest thing from the truth, movement just helps her work best.

“Essence’s people reached out,” Morgan says. “They still want you to feature on some songs on her upcoming album.”

“No.”

“I know you said no before,” Morgan continues. “But this could be a great way to slowly get yourself back out there -”

“My answer is no, Morgan.”

Morgan halts her steps and looks right at me. “Sonny…”

“Morgan…,” I parrot back to her in the same tone she said my name in.

Morgan glares at me, clearly annoyed that I have shot this opportunity down again.

“I know what you’re thinking, Mo.”

“Do you know what I’m thinking?” She asks, raising an eyebrow. “Because for months now we’ve talked about what you want to do next and it hasalwaysincluded music, but now I’m not so sure. And if you don't, that's fine, we can pivot and focus on different aspects of your career but you can’t keep me in the dark, Sonny.”

I push off from the table and walk closer to the windows, shoving my hands into my pockets. The sun has gone down but the city is alive beneath us. The brake lights and street lights illuminate the darkness and people hustle to their next destination.

“I’m not giving up on music,” I reply, my eyes still focused on the city below us.

I could never give up on music. Truthfully it was never music that I left. It was everything else that I needed a break from, the politics and business of it all. But music, I couldn’t give that up even if I tried. I’ve been writing songs since I was 14 and a lot of the time it’s not something I have to sit down and try to do, it just happens and I listen.

“So what’s your plan then? You wanted a break from everything and I understand that. I agreed even. But now you’ve left me in the dark.”

Instead of answering Morgan’s question, I ask her one of my own. “Morgan, do you remember why I said ‘yes’ to you being my manager?”

Shortly after my last tour ended, I left the label that I had been signed to since the beginning of my career. It was time for me to sign a new contract and negotiations had been going back and forth, back and forth, and I knew I needed time away from it all. The shitty deal they wanted me to agree to was very easy to walk away from. I left the label, fired my agent and my manager and was prepared to justbefor a while. And I did, I did whatever the fuck I wanted for months until I was ready to start taking meetings again.

It was months of taking meetings with different labels and management teams before I met Morgan. She was an assistant to some big shot who came into the meeting with an air of arrogance and making big promises I knew he could never keep.

“Yes of course I remember, Sonny,” Morgan replies. “I told you that the song you performed at the end of the Chicago tour date was the best one you’ve ever made. You asked me why and I said that it felt more personal, more like the real you and not the version of you that you had been giving to the world. And you said that I was the first person that had ever said that, that everyone else said that you should stick to the music you had been making before.”

I told the man that there was no way I would work with him, but Morgan… I knew Morgan just needed someone to give her a chance to flourish.

I turn to face Morgan. “Exactly.”

“Exactly?” She asks, shaking her head. “I don’t follow.”

“You were the first person in the industry that said that to me. That’s why I wanted to work with you, because you understood what that song meant to me,” I pause, taking in a deep breath. “I want to make music for me, music that speaks to me. Notthe hypersexual, fame and money bullshit I was forced to push before.”

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