Page 72 of So This Is Love

“That’s it, baby girl,” I say. “Make a mess all over me.”

Seconds later she erupts, her body jerking as her orgasm rips through her.

I ease my fingers out of her and pull my shorts and boxers down together in one swift motion. I place my hands under Laila’s thighs and tug her to the edge of the bed.

I rub the head of my dick through her slick folds before I push into her, the blissful warmth and wetness of her pussy greeting me. I lean down to place a kiss on her lips. As we pull apart Laila whispers, “I do trust you.”

25

Sonny

If you love something,set it free.

That proverb feels the most relevant on days like today. Days where I share a little piece of me with the world. Today it’s this listening party followed by a midnight release of one song. A single, whose purpose is to build buzz and hype surrounding the upcoming album.

We’ve been teasing it for weeks, releasing snippets, sharing parts of my studio sessions, all of the things, and the reception has been generally good. That early positive reception doesn’t dull the doubt that tries to sneak in and tell me that this release will be a failure, that I’m a failure.

The ability to release music that I actually enjoy creating and is a greater representation of who I am is an amazing privilege that I don’t take for granted. I made these songs for me, more so than I have anything else that I have ever released. Yet I would be lying if I said that I didn’t want others to enjoy it too, that I don’t pray for success to drown out the noise that my brain tries to make me believe is fact. For that, only time will tell.

From the very beginning, the mood that I wanted this album to exude has been connection. Not only do I want my fans to feel more connected to me, the real me, but I also wanted to feel more connected to them. One of the best ways I could think of to attain the latter was through events with smaller crowds.

That desire spawned the idea of pop up listening parties. Spontaneous, low cost events across the country to share some of the songs from the album and some that didn’t make the final cut.

“I thought I might find you out here.”

I smile at the sound of her voice. I don’t open my eyes until I hear her footsteps stop, coming to stand right beside me. Finally I open my eyes and look over at Laila. Amusement shines in her deep brown irises, a smirk on her lips.

“I’m that predictable huh?”

“Maybe just a little.”

Laila pushes up on her toes to give me a kiss. She intends for it to be a peck, a soft press of her lips to mine, but when she pulls away I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her back to me. I place another kiss to her lips,and slide my hand down to squeeze her ass.

“Are you nervous?” Laila asks.

“A little bit,” I reply honestly. “I’m not usually but this feels so-”

“Vulnerable?” Laila says, filling in the word for me.

I nod. “Yeah. It’s a lot easier to not be worried when you’re singing about shit that doesn’t matter. If people didn’t like it, it wasn’t a big deal, but this is sharing a piece of me and I want it to be received well.”

“It will.”

She says it definitively, leaving no room for the doubt I’ve previously allowed to weasel its way in.

“Thank you.”

“OH MY GOD, SONNY!”

A shrill woman’s voice startles us both. I use my left arm to maneuver Laila behind me, putting her between me and the wall of the building and shielding her from the woman that’s approaching us.

I look past her to see where she could have possibly come from when this area was supposed to be blocked off and secure. I don’t see anything off putting and it seems like she’s the only one who’s found her way back here.

“I’m Carly and I absolutelyLOVEyou and your music. I can’t believe I’m actually seeing you in person!”

“Are you here for the event?” I ask, still trying to figure out where she came from.

“I wish,” the woman says, sticking her bottom lip out in a pout. “I tried to get a ticket but they sold out so fast.”

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