Page 74 of So This Is Love

“I know, my fault.”

More security was hired for this event, new guys who I hadn’t worked with before. Xavier had been talking to some of the other security guards when I slipped away. One of the guys had started to follow me outside but I waved him off, just wanting a minute alone. Xavier would’ve never listened to that command-, but this guy obeyed my request without any protest.

“It won’t happen again. You need security with you whether you want it or not,” Xavier says, his voice stern. “Your safety isn’t something we can play with. I’m not gonna be the one that has to tell your OG that something happened to her son on my watch.”

***

There’s an excited, anticipatory energy in the room, even with only a little over a hundred people in attendance. The lights are turned down low to create a calm, comfortable environment. The first thing that I notice is that I can see the crowd, like reallysee them and their details. They aren’t just blobs of light that all mesh together like how it is when you perform on a larger scale.

Rows of chairs are lined up in a half circle around where I’m standing. Every seat filled and all eyes on me as I bring the mic in my hand to my mouth and begin to speak.

“I just want to start out by saying thank you to all of you for coming out tonight.”

The room erupts into cheers and claps and I pause, smiling, taking it all in.

When the room quiets, I continue. “I feel so very blessed to be able to have this experience with y’all. Without you I wouldn’t be able to do what I love. I’m eternally grateful for all the support I’ve been shown over the years and that you took time out of your day to be here tonight.”

“Almost four years ago, I met someone and one of the first things they said to me was that I was an asshole.”

Snickers erupt through the room.

“Y’all think it’s funny but I’m being for real,” I say, chuckling myself. “But she was right, I was an asshole. I had strayed so far from the man I wanted to be, too caught up in trying to reach the highest highs that I lost myself in the process.”

The crowd hums, nods and murmurs of understanding flow through the space. I look around, taking everyone in but also scanning, searching for a set of deep brown eyes that I have become intimately familiar with. The beautiful woman that turned my world upside down in the best way possible.

She’s in the very back of the room standing near the mixing booth with Morgan. I’m sure the choice is meant to make her inconspicuous and for the other people in the room, it probably is. For me, Laila is a light that can never be dimmed or hidden. She may not want the attention of everyone else in the room, but she’ll always have mine.

I tear my gaze away from her and engage back with the crowd as I walk back and forth in the small space, continuing to talk.

“That conversation was the wake up call that I needed.. These songs are heartfelt and real and -” I pause, glancing around the room. “Vulnerable. I hope you enjoy. Thank you.”

***

My phone is flooded with notifications. An overwhelming amount of missed calls and texts from friends and family. Two notifications catch my attention immediately, three back to back calls from Morgan followed by a text message.

Morgan

Call me back asap.

I ignore the rest of the notifications, tapping on the missed call from Morgan to call her back.

“Have you been on social media yet?” Morgan asks when the call connects.

I furrow my brows in confusion. “Nah, not yet I just woke up. I saw your message and called you. Why? Is the song performing badly?”

“No, it’s not that.”

I can tell simply from the tone of Morgan’s voice that something is wrong.

“Then what is it?”

“Someone posted photos of you and Laila together from last night along with a bunch of unkind things to say about the both of you.”

My stomach drops at her words. “Fuck.”

“I need you to stay off social media for right now. I’ve already scheduled a meeting with the rest of the team to figure out the best way to address this.”

“I need to see the photo.”

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