Page 55 of Meet Me on Lilac Lane

Cody clenched his jaw, then relaxed it again. “What are you saying?”

“Just that maybe there’s more to your lack of focus than just some little chores that people ask for help with.”

They weren’t little chores, but whatever. “I’m still not sure what you’re saying.”

“Can I be honest here?” Pastor Arnie gave him a searching look. Cody nodded. Bring it on. “It’s just that I think there might be other issues you haven’t faced yet. You haven’t really dealt with what it would be like to be out there again. Without Troy. And possibly in danger again. How often do you go fishing now?”

Oof. Cody sucked in a deep breath. That question had sucker punched him in the gut. But, to be fair, he’d given the man permission. “I guess…I haven’t really been back out there other than taking the ferry once or twice.”

“Maybe you need to figure out what you are afraid of. I’m guessing that’s more the issue than the distractions you’re allowing to sidetrack you.”

A cloud passed over the sun, dappling the light.

Cody sat in stunned silence. Was fear holding him back? Before he formulated a response, Pastor Arnie spoke again.

“If it really is that you don’t have the time to finish the project, well, that’s valid too. But if it’s fear that’s holding you back, let me remind you of a verse from Psalm thirty-four. I’ll text it to you.” Pastor Arnie pulled out his phone. A few seconds later, Cody’s phone pinged with an incoming text. “The Pastor Arnie paraphrase of Psalm thirty-four, verse four says that if we seek the Lord, He will deliver us from all our fears.”

Cody tapped into his Bible app and navigated to the verse. “Thanks. I’ll think about this.”

Pastor Arnie slapped his knees and stood up. “On that note, I’d better get back. My sermon won’t write itself.”

Cody stood too, then tested his knee before bending to touch his toes. Everything worked. A few stretches later, he began to jog back the way he’d come.

His run and his thoughts carried him past his house and down to the water. In addition to the larger commercial fishing trawler currently berthed in his shop, Cody owned a speed boat. At the shoreline of his lot, a small wooden dock jutted into the water. Bobbing to one side floated his speed boat. He faithfully put it in the water every spring and hauled it out again for the winter. He paid the fee to have it registered and kept the motor full of gas.

But he hadn’t actually taken it out on the lake for two years.

Not since the last time he and Troy had taken an early morning fishing trip—the day before the accident.

The brilliant sun now shone overhead, its rays dancing on the water. The twin lake scents of loam and fish called to him. Pulled him toward the bay and the lake beyond. Except, he couldn’t get his feet to follow the tug deep in his belly.

“Are you having a staring contest with that boat?” Liam walked up next to him. “You look like the boat stole your dog and spat on your best pair of boots.”

“What?” Cody wasn’t sure whether to be annoyed or humored by the comparison.

“Your hands on your hips, feet squared up.” Liam shrugged. “Just looked like you were about to ask the boat to meet you outside for a ‘conversation.’”

Cody let out a small laugh, devoid of humor. “I guess it kind of is like that.” He glanced to the side. Liam wore casual pants and a windbreaker. He’d tucked a ball cap over his designer haircut. Maybe…“I don’t suppose you’d want to take a boat ride, would you?” If he had to face a few demons, it might be good to have backup.

Liam checked his smart watch. “If we make it a short ride, I’d enjoy getting out on the water. I’ve got about an hour to spare before I promised to meet Dani. I just came by to show you some pics of the fishing rods I ordered. Will that be enough time?”

Cody nodded. “Works for me.” He started walking toward the dock, Liam trailing behind. The ancient structure wobbled as they stepped onto it. “I can show you a few good spots around here for when you’re ready to use your gear.”

Liam rubbed his hands together. “Let’s do it.”

A few minutes later and Cody had the boat running. Liam, sporting the bright blue life vest Cody had tossed him, untied the mooring line under Cody’s direction, and they eased away from the dock. A pit opened in Cody’s stomach, taking his heart and throat and all of his blood down into itself. He stood in front of the captain’s chair at the wheel and Liam perched on the bucket seat next to him.

The dock had slipped twenty feet behind them when bright spots blinked at the edges of Cody’s vision. He blinked to clear them. Standing at the helm of his boat was like slipping back into his own skin, despite the memories nipping at the corners of his brain.

He swallowed hard as he swung the boat in a wide arc to come around the bay. “One of my favorite spots is just a little ways off my own dock.” As he spoke, a band tightened around his chest. He tugged at the neck of his life vest but didn’t get any relief.

The boat rocked in a swell from the left. He turned the wheel to the right, overcorrecting.

“Whoa.” Liam clutched at the side of the boat as the inertia threatened to topple him. A spray from their wake hit them.

“Sorry about that, man.” Cody focused on watching the swells ahead.Keepittogether. The bright lights in his vision came back and his head swam.

“Cody? You don’t look so good,” Liam said. “Are you okay?”

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