Page 10 of A Tongue so Sweet and Deadly

She could rescue every child in Havlands, and it wouldn’t be enough.

It would never be enough.

“Lessia.” Amalise reached out for her again, and this time, Lessia let her take her hand and pull her closer. “Please, youneed to at least try. The darkness will consume the light you’ve created here if you don’t. That I can’t bear.”

She shifted her eyes to Amalise’s worried blues, trying to keep the hollowness that filled her out of her honey ones.

“I’ll try,” she said, although the emptiness of the promise echoed in her ears.

She could try all she liked.

But she’d never forgive herself for what she’d done.

Amalise raised a brow, and she forced a weak smile.

Her friend didn’t smile back. Instead, Amalise’s eyes bore into hers, her hand impatiently brushing a lock of hair out of Lessia’s face.

When Amalise’s mouth opened and closed a few times, Lessia braced herself. “Just ask.”

Her friend sucked in a breath. “What happened back at the tavern, Lia?”

Lessia opened her mouth to respond, groaning when the words she wanted to say stuck in her throat.

Gods, she hated that she couldn’t just tell her. It was exhausting trying to find ways around her king’s orders—devastating to see the look of disappointment in Amalise’s eyes, even as she knew Lessia couldn’t help it.

Throwing her head back, she stared at the metal beams lining the tall ceiling. The white paint around them was chipping—they’d need to get that fixed soon.

And given what Merrick had told her tonight…

Moving her gaze back to Amalise’s sharp eyes, she let out a soft breath. “You know how I told you there might be a time when I must leave for a while?”

Amalise’s brows pinched, but she nodded.

“I’m afraid that time might come sooner than I’d like.” She couldn’t help her face from scrunching up, the words coming out choppy as her throat thickened.

“Oh, Lia.” Amalise dragged her into her arms, and each held on tight to the other.

Pulling back, Lessia gave her a crooked smile. “We have tonight. I can’t say how much longer, but let’s not waste it.” She gently nudged her shoulder when Amalise’s gaze dropped to the floor. “You’re supposed to be the carefree one.”

Amalise shoved her back. “Not all of us can go around being all serious all the time. Honestly, I can never understand how the rest of Ellow doesn’t see through the disguise, see what a boring bastard you truly are.”

With a snort, Lessia dragged her up the stairs, where soft murmurs and the smell of liquor and arousal filled the air.

As they took the final step, Lessia tried to put the guilt and apprehension out of her mind. If this was truly her final night with her friends, she didn’t want to waste it giving them more reasons to worry.

Squeezing Amalise’s small hand, she lifted her gaze to the dimly lit sitting room.

Pellie straddled a soldier in one of the plush leather chairs before her, while another slowly stroked her back. One of his hands wrapped in her copper hair, tilting her head so the soldier beneath her could kiss her neck. Soria was nowhere to be seen, and Lessia realized two of the other soldiers must be with her.

With a wink, Amalise sidled up to the man she’d spent the evening with, taking the goblet he offered her and throwing it back. Flashing him a seductive smile, she slipped her hand into his and pulled him toward her room. But Lessia didn’t miss the glance she cast her way, the slight frown between her brows.

Swallowing, she walked up to Ardow and sat down on the arm of his chair.

“All good?” He raised a dark brow when she leaned back and a sigh escaped her.

“Yes, the papers were all in order.” Lessia kept her eyes on the room so as not to let him see the worry she was certain burned in them.

Two soldiers leaned against the wooden countertop before them. They took sips from cups of liquor in between spells of laughter, and when their smiles turned her way, the carefree expressions tugged at her heart.

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