As Penny applies the finishing touches to my makeup, I stare at the person in the mirror who looks nothing like me. I’m wearing a blonde wig for a start, and makeup and a dress. Penny must see my expression in the mirror because she smiles reassuringly.
“You look great.”
I don’t feel it, and as I stand, my feet in the silver sandals, I feel uncertain about it all.
“What if I forget everything?” I whisper.
“Let Johnny lead you. Just follow him and everything will be fine.”
“Okay, okay.” I say it more to reassure myself than to agree with her. I start to recite the steps under my breath to try and calm the nervous bubbling in my stomach.
“Baby?” Penny’s voice cuts through my muttering and I look at her, seeing the bleak look in her eyes. “I’m scared.”
It’s the first time I’ve heard her crack since the night I found her sobbing in the kitchen.
“I’m sure it’ll be alright,” I say and she steps forward, hugging me tightly.
“Thank you for doing this for me. I’m truly grateful,” she says as she releases me. I smile at her, too nervous to speak but pleased I can at least try to help.
The stage curtains are closed and we’re waiting in near darkness. All I can hear is the muffled voice of the compere on the other side of the curtain taking a few minutes to entertain the audience before introducing us and the unsteady breathing of Baby standing next to me.
The Festival Pavilion is one of the largest venues in the area. As well as hosting shows and concerts, it regularly has sporting events, some of them televised. It’s a good gig for Penny and me. It pays good money and I’m pleased we haven’t had to lose it.
Hearing that the compere is almost finished, I move into position behind Baby. I wrap one arm around his waist and place the other on his hip. In the gloom I can see the column of his neck and his exposed shoulder showing his creamy white skin. I had to catch my breath when I saw him tonight. I’ve never really fancied men in drag, but there’s something fresh and innocent about the way he looks—pretty andwithout artifice. It stirred a deep sense of there being some good in the world somewhere.
I can feel him shaking slightly.
“It’s going to be alright,” I murmur, and he shivers from my breath across his skin. I want to tell him how grateful I am for him going through with this, but I’m not good with words of sentimentality, except with Penny and Billy, but this isn’t like that. This is something more, a feeling I shouldn’t let take hold. I have no more time to think about it, as I hear the compere announcing us as Johnny Castle and partner just as the first bars of the music start up.
I feel him freeze as the curtains draw back. I understand it—the people and the lights, it’s overwhelming the first time—but he needs to get over it. I dig my fingers into his hip and hear his sharp intake of breath. It’s enough to break through his immobility and we can move. The first few steps go well, as we’ve practiced them hundreds of times, but after the first twirl he looks blank. So I pull him to me and remind him of where we are in the routine, and I see him visibly start to relax and get into the rhythm of the music. Then we draw back for the lift, and as soon as he starts moving I can see he’s not committed and we’re not going to make it so I do my best to turn it into another turn. The rest of the routine passes without incident and suddenly we’re finished. We take our bows, or rather Baby does a credible curtsey, and the audience erupts into applause. I let out a deep breath... We made it, we fooled them. I give Baby’s hand a squeeze but he’s just standing there looking completely stunned, and I almost have to drag him off the stage. I see the manager coming towards us so I push Baby behind me, because the manager’s met Penny so he’d be able to see the difference straight away. After the briefest of conversations he leaves, and not wanting to hang aroundany longer I walk us back to my car. Baby clambers into the back seat to get changed.
“You did really good,” I say glancing in my rear-view mirror as he pulls off the blonde wig and attempts to scrub the makeup off his face.
“That was incredible.” His face lights up in a huge smile, making him look even prettier than normal. “I didn’t manage the lift, though.” He pulls off the dress and I catch a flash of his chest before he pulls his T-shirt on, and I feel a small pang of disappointment that he covers himself up.
“No, but you still did really well.”
He wriggles into his jeans and climbs over to sit in the front seat. He grins at me.
“That was so scary, but wow, it was also the best feeling in the world.”
“Isn’t it?” His smile is infectious and I grin right back at him. I get it, it’s what keeps me performing, the high and the exhilaration. Though this time, something else is mixed in—regret maybe that I won’t get to dance with him again. I don’t even need to see him after this. We’ve done what we needed to do. I squash down the disappointment as we pull into the car park. Guests shouldn’t mix with the staff, and perhaps that’s for the best.
Billy is pacing nervously as I pull into my usual space.
“Thank god you’re back,” he says, rushing up as soon as my door’s open. I don’t like the look on his face.
‘What is it? Is it Penny?”
“He was a real hack, Johnny. He looked like he barely knew what he was doing. His instruments looked dirty, and he didn’t even wash his hands.”
This sounds bad. I sprint over to Penny’s cabin, scared of what I might find.
“It was awful. I could hear her screams from outside.” Billy keeps talking as we hurry after Johnny. When we get to Penny’s cabin there are several of the other dance staff gathered around. The door’s open and I follow Billy inside. Johnny is sitting on Penny’s bed brushing her hair back and soothing her. Her skin is grey and covered in a sheen of sweat, her face creased in agony as she clutches her abdomen. I turn and run, there’s only one person I know who can help her.
I quietly open the door to my mum and dad’s room and whisper to my dad.
“What is it, Baby? Are you feeling worse?”