Page 23 of Steadfast

“I’m thinking in a year or two, we’ll start searching for a house,” Richie said quietly, his fingers running lightly up and down my back. “I’ll be getting paid pretty well, and since I’m still living at home, I should be able to put away enough for a down payment.”

“Don’t you want to get an apartment or something first?” I asked dreamily, imagining having an actual bed to spend time in, behind a door that locked.

“Why bother?” Richie replied with a shrug. “We know we need at least three bedrooms, right? A three-bedroom apartment would cost a grip. If we just save up, we can get a place that we actually own with a yard and shit.”

“Smart,” I agreed, feeling warm and content. He wanted all of us. Not just me. And it didn’t feel like it was a concession. It felt like a choice happily made.

“If we can swing it, I think we should try to find something on a little bit of property,” he continued. “What do you think?”

“Property is expensive,” I reminded him. “I might be able to save a little, too, though.”

“No way.”

“What do you mean, no way?”

“I mean, you’re not saving for the house.”

“Is it my house, too?” I asked, getting angry. I leaned up to look at him.

“Obviously.”

“Then I’llobviouslybe contributing.”

“Do you have to argue with everything?”

“This is important!”

“Yeah, it is,” he replied, frustration bleeding into his voice. “But you’re already paying for groceries and clothes and all the other shit five people need. You know what I pay for? Our datesand anything to do with my truck. That’s it. My shampoo gets low, my mom buys more. I want something from the grocery store? She picks it up when she goes shopping. You see the difference?”

“You should be buying your own shampoo,” I spat dumbly, laying back down with a huff.

Richie scoffed, but his hand found my back again and continued its trail up and down my spine.

“Property,” he said firmly after a few moments. “Room for a couple of apple trees or something.”

“What if she won’t let them go?” I asked quietly, the thought of it making me a little sick. “What if she says they have to stay?”

“We’ll ignore her,” Richie replied firmly. “What’s she gonna do? Stay sober enough to try and force them back?”

“Good point,” I mumbled.

“You worry too much.” He gently yanked a piece of my hair. “It’ll all work out. You’ll see.”

I nodded against his shoulder, but to say I was skeptical that things wouldall work outwas a massive understatement. Richie had grown up with two normal parents and a couple of older brothers who gave him shit but clearly loved him. He had no idea what it was like to wake up every morning wondering what the next disaster would be. For him, thingsdidwork out. They always had.

I loved that for him. I loved that he was always full of so much optimism.

Sometimes, I thought we worked so well because he was my complete opposite. When I was cautious, he was full speed ahead. When I only saw the downside of things, he always found the silver lining. I was panicked and he was calm, and on good days, I felt like we evened each other out. My pragmatism kept him from flying too close to the sun, and his positivity kept me from seeing catastrophe in every situation.

“Cian told me today that he always wears a condom,” I said after we’d been quiet for a while. The comment earlier had made me really fucking nervous. My baby brother was going into his freshman year of high school. He wasn’t only way too young to be having sex, but if he got someone pregnant, I was pretty sure I would never get out of bed again.

Richie laughed.

“It’s not funny,” I snapped.

“Baby, he’s not having sex.”

“How the hell would you know?”

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