Page 26 of Steadfast

Aoife

The moment Iwalked through the door, I knew something was wrong. The kids weren’t anywhere to be seen, but I could hear voices in the kitchen, and they didn’t sound happy. Hurrying in that direction, I caught sight of my mom’s back, most of it bare.

“Just get the fuck outta here.”

“I’m your mother—”

“You’re not my mother,” Cian spat. “You’re just the woman who gave birth to me.”

“Exactly.” Mom cackled. “What do you think a mother is?”

“The person who gives a shit,” Cian replied tightly. “The one who makes sure there’s food in the fuckin’ house, and homework is done, and we have clothes that fuckin’ fit!”

“You’re thirteen years old, I think you can figure stuff out for yourself, for Pete’s sake.”

“Right.” Cian shook his head. “Just go.”

“What’s going on?” I asked, striding into the room.

Mom was wearing a pair of jeans that were so low I was surprised I couldn’t see her c-section scar from when Aisling was born. Her halter top just barely covered her breasts and ended in fringe above her belly button. Her makeup was flawless, and at some point during the day of drinking in her room, she must’ve painted her nails because they were cherry red.

“I’m going out,” Mom announced.

“Okay?” I looked at Cian in confusion. I didn’t understand why he was so pissed.

“Ro and Ash asked her to play a game with them. She can’t be fucked to play one fuckin’ board game.”

“And I told them I have plans,” Mom said in exasperation. “They whined a little, but they’re fine. Jesus, you’d think I killed their dog or something.”

I stared at her, somehow still amazed that she could have so little self-awareness.

“We’ll see you later,” I said slowly, stepping toward Cian. When we were shoulder to shoulder, I leaned in a little so we were touching.

This wasn’t anything new. It wasn’t surprising or shocking. This was our life. I wasn’t sure why Cian was arguing with her about it.

“What’s in your hand?” she asked, waving those red nails at me. I instantly regretted not hiding it. I hadn’t ever been able to prove that Mom stole from us, but more than once, the cash I’d given the kids for school trips would go missing out of backpacks. Once, I’d even come up almost a hundred dollars short when I’d gone grocery shopping, when I knew I’d counted the money carefully the night before.

“A graduation present from Richie.”

“Lemme see.” She walked toward me and looked down as I opened the box. “Oh, that’s nice.”

“Thanks.”

“You better not let that boy get you pregnant,” she said, taking a step backward. “You’re obviously having sex.”

Cian let out a choked noise beside me.

“I’m not going to get pregnant,” I ground out, my face burning.

“You shouldn’t even be having sex,” she continued. “One slip up, and boom, your life’s over. If you think that boy is going to marry you…” She laughed derisively. “Don’t count on it.”

“I’m not going to slip up.”

“You’ve clearly been going at it.” She gestured at my hair. “I’m just saying.”

The mix of embarrassment and rage that flowed through me made my hands shake. Did she not realize that her thirteen-year-old son could hear every word she said? How in the hell did she delude herself into thinking it was appropriate to talk about my sex life in front of him?

“I’ve had an IUD for the last two years,” I snapped, trying to ignore Cian standing right next to me.

---