Page 46 of Steadfast

“Yogurt, bud,” Cian said, pointing. “There’s some plastic spoons in there, too.”

“Nice,” Ronan muttered. “Ash, you want some?”

“I do,” Saoirse said. “Did you get blackberry?”

“Got everyone’s favorites,” Cian confirmed.

“The orange kind?” Aisling asked, rubbing her ear.

“Yep.”

“Has that medicine started working yet?” I asked, looking at her in the mirror. Cian had given her the first dose as we left town the night before.

“No,” Aisling murmured as she took her yogurt from Ronan. “Still hurts.”

“It’ll stop soon.” I looked at Cian. “When did we give her the ibuprofen?”

“She’s due. I’ll get it.”

The kids ate as we took another exit and then another. They were mostly quiet in the back seat, staring blearily out the windows. I couldn’t remember the last time they’d slept anywhere but their own beds. We hadn’t had money for trips or anything like that, and I’d never been comfortable with them sleeping at their friends’ houses. Too many weird things happened behind closed doors. Look at our family, no one on the outside had any idea that my mother was rarely home, or the fact that when she was there, she was usually hammered or hungover.

My thoughts must’ve done something to my expression because Cian was watching me curiously.

“What do you think Mom did for money?” he asked abruptly. “Whenever I asked she always talked in circles but never gave me a straight answer.”

“No idea.” I shook my head. “She’d never answer me either. She used to work as a property manager, but I have no clue how she would have kept that job with the drinking.”

“She didn’t have a set schedule, that’s for sure,” Cian said with a derisive laugh. “I never knew when she’d be home or gone.”

“I just know she had money coming in somehow,” I replied with a shrug. “She kept up on the utilities and the mortgage.”

“When was she sober enough to pay bills?” he asked under his breath.

“I gave up trying to figure it out a long time ago.”

“Turn here,” he said, pointing at the next intersection. “We’re less than an hour out.”

We were in the middle of nowhere and driving through a smattering of small towns at that point. The freeway had turned into a two-lane highway. My stomach cramped.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” Aisling said from the back seat.

“Me too,” Saoirse grumbled.

“Can you hold it?” I asked. “We’re almost there.”

“I can,” Saoirse said instantly.

“I can’t,” Aisling whined.

“Stop at that gas station,” Cian said, pointing at a station down the road. “I bet they have restrooms.”

“Nasty ones.”

“Beggars can’t be choosers,” he replied.

“Easy for you to say,” Saoirse said, leaning up to poke the back of his neck. “You can pee standing up.”

“Hey, at least you’ll get a toilet and won’t be peeing on the side of the road,” Cian joked, slapping at her finger. “It could be worse.”

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