Page 40 of Her Magic Light

Holy hell, I wanted to paint it. A hundred images slammed into my mind. Canvas upon canvas, pieces to outshine the hummingbird portraits.

As if summoned, a familiar hummingbird zipped into view, but I shook my head. The power of imagination. What else could it be?

I basked in the daylight, in this unexpected treat… Then I gave myself a mental smack. Access to daylight wasn’t atreat.It was myright. They weren’t allowed to keep me hidden away from sunlight.

I tilted my face so the light hit it differently and marched toward the balcony, drawn by the light in a way I couldn’t explain. More energy pulsed into me like it was lighting my spirit.

But as I moved by him, Dr. Anderson’s hand shot out, and he gripped my upper arm tightly, preventing me from taking any more steps. He jabbed a button on his massive console table, and the shutters began to roll closed again.

Disappointment opened up like a chasm inside me, and I fought not to choke on a sob. My face twisted, and I spun toward him. “What are you doing? Why did you take it away from me?”

“Because this was enough for now,” he muttered as he studied me.

fifteen

I’d never walked on air before, but I did on the return journey to my cell. Despite my mood over being trapped here, the light and colors had filled me with a euphoria I couldn’t explain.

As usual, Coop said nothing.

As usual, I had sunglasses in place over my eyes.

As usual, I could barely see.

But energy still thrummed through me, ebbing and flowing, sometimes merely in the background and tickling my thoughts, sometimes almost overwhelming like it might burst out of me and power the entire cell block. It had been glorious.

My skin prickled, and I itched. I needed to do something.Createsomething. I was the most wired I’d ever been. And I needed to release it.

It was ludicrous, but it was almost like the sunlight had been a drug. One taste wouldn’t be enough. If Anderson offered me that again, there was no telling what I’d agree to. But I pushed that thought to the back of my mind. It was enough to just have my creative juices flowing again.

My footsteps faltered.

“You all right?” Coop spoke for the first time since we’d left Dr. Anderson’s office.

I nodded, not caring whether he could see me or not. But I wasn’t okay. My energy was about to explode from me, and I couldn’t do a goddamn thing about it.

I couldn’t create. I couldn’t even scratch a design on a surface—I had nothing to scratch with. All of my art supplies were at home, my dyes and hair colors at work. Everything. I squeezed my eyes closed and opened them again.

Gritting my teeth, I trembled from head to toe. Was this the power they were looking for? My creativity? My way with colors? When I felt this way, art poured from me.

If I just had a single-colored pencil… Even though I couldn’t see, even the darkness of my cell in this godforsaken place, eventhen, just knowing that I would be spreading color with each pass of it would be enough. I’d see it somehow. In my head, I’d see my design, and I’d know I’d created it. It would be enough.

I shook my head this time, even though Coop hadn’t asked his question again, and I started moving forward once more. Hopefully, my new energy level would dissipate before being locked in the dark hole they wanted to keep me in for an indeterminate length of time.

Coop escorted me to my cell and followed me in. We both stood inside for a moment, the silence heavy between us.

I waited, wondering if he might say something, ask me if I was okay again, but the only noise he made was soft breathing. I focused on the sound as my energy swelled once more, making me bold.

“Coop?”

At first, I didn’t think he’d respond. Then his voice was so quiet I almost thought he hadn’t. “Yeah?”

“Can you do something for me?” This time I waited longer.

He wasn’t going to reply.

“Coop,” I said again. “Can I have art supplies? Just crayons or pencils or anything. I’m losing my mind in here with nothing to do.” I waited again, willing him to agree with me and do what I wanted, willing him to understand I couldn’t just exist in this dark space and wait for when they chose to show me the light again.

“I…” Even that one word held bewilderment. “Ican’t.” His words held shock, too. Like he wasn’t used tonotbeing able to do something.

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