Page 8 of Mine

“Presly…”

“Just go, Houston.”

“Nah. This shit is dumb as hell. I’m not about to let you put me out over some fucking tacos.”

“I just said it wasn’t about the tacos! You don’t listen. You hurt my feelings!”

The moment a tear slipped down my cheek, I growled. I hated myself for crying in front of him. I didn’t want to look weak. I didn’t want him to think I cared too much. I didn’t wanthim to use this to take advantage of me. I didn’t want to feel vulnerable with a man who clearly didn’t care about my feelings.

“Bae,” he said quietly, chuckling nervously as he walked over to me. “I hurt your feelings because I didn’t bring you no food?”

“Yes,” I whined, crossing my arms over my chest when he reached for me. “You know those are my favorite tacos and that’s my favorite restaurant. Why wouldn’t you bring me anything?”

“I’m sorry, bae,” he cooed, pulling me into his chest. “I wasn’t thinking. You know I’m not used to taking care of nobody but myself. I was hungry, so I stopped to get me some food. It didn’t register in my brain to call you or get you something. I know you get tired of me saying it, but I’m an only child, bae. I’m used to my mama and women taking care of me.”

“Being an only child does not excuse you for being an inconsiderate adult. We might not be in a relationship, but I consider you in all things, and maybe that’s my fault. Just like you consider me getting you food as a form of taking care of you, I deserve that same kind of energy too.”

“You’re right,” he conceded before placing a juicy kiss to my cheek, then the corner of my mouth. “You’re absolutely right, Pres. I should’ve gotten you something. You always look out for me, and you deserve that from me too. I’m sorry.”

Rolling my tongue over my cheek, I nodded. I was too emotionally drained to even speak. This was not how things were supposed to be going between us. I shouldn’t have had to train a man on how to treat me with common decency and consideration. It made me feel crazy even being upset over something like this. And it wasn’t even his fault. Houston had been self-absorbed since I’d met him. The dates and being wined and dined overshadowed that, but now it was getting harder and harder for me to ignore. Instead of getting upset over the traits he lacked, I should have just dealt with someone who had them and saved myself the trouble and resentment.

I also didn’t like feeling like I gave Houston a hard time all the time. This situation was starting to feel toxic, and I didn’t like that one bit. It would have been different if he was cheating or lying or something, but that wasn’t the case. Yeah, he was self-absorbed, but was that a complete dealbreaker? Maybe it should have been. Then again, no man or couple was perfect. At least he wasn’t lying or cheating. Right?

“Hey,” he called, tilting my head by my chin. “I’ll take you to go get the tacos, we can have a few shots of tequila, then go to my place and play a few games of pool to unwind. Then we can call it a night. How does that sound?”

Licking the corner of my mouth, I shook my head. I wanted to tell him no, but at least he was trying to make it right. I couldn’t ignore his effort.

“Fine,” I agreed, but the whole time we headed out of my room, my heart ached. Something had to change between us, and seeing as I couldn’t change him, maybe what needed to change was us dealing with each other.

Two Weeks Later

Things had been weird with me and Houston since the whole taco situation. I came on my period the next day, and he joked and said that was why I overreacted. I decided in that moment not to share my feelings with him anymore because it was clear he didn’t take them seriously. Even with me reminding him it was about the principle of the situation, his response wasyeah aight.

That very same day, I posted a picture of me cuddled up in bed unable to move, jokingly telling someone to send me chocolate and wine. An old friend from high school, Andy, called me on messenger and asked me what I wanted. I told him I was joking but he insisted, so I requested steak, wine, and a piece of chocolate cake. That had been the meal I ate on the first day of my period for years now, and it always made me feel better.Andy not only brought me that but my favorite candy and a heating pad too. After he left, I cried.

Every day that week, he texted or called and made sure I didn’t need anything else. Meanwhile, I didn’t hear from Houston at all. He waited until the last day of my period and said he stayed away because it makes memoody. I just hung up on his ass. We didn’t talk for another two days, and when we did talk, it was because he wanted to invite me to his family barbecue today. The only reason I agreed was because I’d never met his family and figured this was his way of moving our relationship forward, though at this point, I didn’t know if it was even worth it.

“So wassup with Andy?” Paisley asked with a syrupy grin. “Is he single?”

“No, plus he’s just a friend.”

“A better one than Houston.” Her eyes rolled. “I don’t know why you’re still dealing with him.”

“He’s not a bad guy. He’s just… I don’t know. I can admit he’s lacking some traits I want my man to have, but we’re not in a relationship, so it doesn’t really matter.”

“That’s the part I don’t get.” She adjusted herself on the couch and turned slightly to face me. “I don’t understand why you put up with this shit. You don’t have to.”

“Yeah, but I want to. When things are good between us, they’re really good. I guess… things have been bad lately.”

“And I think that’s a sign this whatever it is has run its course. If the relationship is stressing you out more than it’s increasing your happiness, you need to let it go, Sis.”

My bottom lip poked out slightly as I crossed my legs underneath me. “I don’t know what I was thinking stopping by here before I went to his mama house.”

She laughed, which made me smile. “You knew what you were doing, even if just subconsciously. If you meet that man’sfamily and he asks you to commit, everything that has happened recently will be thrown into the sea of forgetfulness.”

“Would that be such a bad thing?”

“If he doesn’t change… yeah. It’ll just be harder for you to leave. I agree with you that Houston isn’t a bad guy; he’s just not the guy for you. It isn’t fair for you to feel like you’re not getting what you need, but it also isn’t fair for you to make him feel like he’s always doing something wrong.”

---