Page 54 of Blind Justice

“Not anymore,” Bella stated.

“No. Not anymore. My da used his power and made sure I didn’t rot in jail for life. Coming to America took me out of running for his position. At the end of my term, I’m free. I can go where I want. Hell, I could even go back home if I so desired, but I wouldn’t be welcomed or offered any position within the IRA. I’m a liability, exposed to American ideals and under the influence of an enforcement agency. Also, I wouldn’t find hospitality there. I’m a turncoat.” Duncan left out the part about how his father still looked to him to provide intel on other organizations. It was something he’d done willingly in the beginning, because he was hesitant to sever his last bit of blood connection.

“This is why you’ve been able to relate to our situation. You’ve been where we are,” Bella said, relief flooding her voice.

Duncan nodded. “It’s not easy to turn your back on your way of life or your family. No matter how fecking shitty it is.”

Enzo put his arm around Bella. “We’ve got each other though. You’ve had no one to lean on or look to for help.”

Duncan shrugged. “I had Thomas. He’s a good guy, even if he’s a die-hard agent. He has always treated me with respect and wanted my input and help.” He chuckled. “And he knows my history. Good, bad, and ugly. He’s someoneItrust.”

“Then so do we,” Enzo assured.

How had these two survived in the Cartel? They didn’t know him from shit. In his world, and he knew in theirs too, believing in the wrong person could get them and anyone they held dear killed. Yet, after a night in his bed, these two were so willing to trust him. In his mind, he wasn’t worthy of that faith. Maybe he was missing something?

Bella looked up at him, her gaze locking with his. “How long do you have left?”

He could lie, but why bother? Right now, this relationship, even if he wanted more, could never happen. It just wasn’t feasible. One week he was in Mexico for a month, the next he was sitting in Virginia playing footsie with R.O.O.T., and the following he could be doing a six-month stint out in Cali. Not to mention he dealt with the most fucked up people in the world. A life with him would be fraught with issues and risks. “Ten more years. I won’t get an early release for good behavior either.” He gave a humorless laugh. He’d already tried at about fifteen years into his service. He was given a resounding no from all parties. “The FBI and the Yard have been clear. The only way for me to get an early release is death.” He gave Bella a flirtatious wink. “I’m not ready to die yet.”

Bella brushed her fingertips together over the plate. “So, you haven’t seen or spoken to your family in twenty years?”

Seen, no, spoken to, yes. But again, he wouldn’t admit it. He’d learned that if he was going to break rules or go behind the authorities’ back, he needed to keep the information to himself. “No. I haven’t.”

“You understand now why we lied about what we are to each other,” Enzo stated.

Yeah, he got the reasoning behind it, even if he didn’t fully agree with it. “Siblings or lovers, it’s still a liability keeping you two together. It’s easier to hide one person than two, unless you’re married. They won’t normally separate married couples. Besides.” He eyed up the two lovers. “What if Bella wasn’t sterilized, and she accidentally got pregnant? What would you have done then?”

Enzo shrugged. “We did what we had to do. It’s always been Bella and me against the world. It’s a position we’re used to. Besides, we don’t have to worry about kids or shit.”

He hated that they had to rely on themselves. It was a fucked up life doing so. Duncan wanted to be the one to protect and care for them. He gave himself a mental shake.They’re not real feelings.They couldn’t be. He wouldn’t allow it. “I should check in with Omar. Finish your breakfasts then get ready for the day.”

Bella stared at him. “You’re upset.”

“No.” He shook his head. “Not even close.” He tried to smile in reassurance, but the look on her face told him he did a shit job at faking it.

“If you’ll excuse me.” He went back to the closet and grabbed a fresh pair of jeans and a new shirt then escaped to the bathroom so he could clean up. Relief flooded him. He couldn’t express it though. The expectation of being rejected had overridden even the slightest bit of his hope they’d accept him. Standing there, staring at his clothes, he couldn’t comprehend what just happened. For the first time since he arrived in American, he felt free. Like the weight of the world was off his shoulders and he could breathe, and it was all due to Bella and Enzo. It was their ability to see him and not his transgressions. Duncan smiled to himself.Well, I’ll be damned.

Still, he couldn’t get ahead of himself. Their approval didn’t equal a relationship, especially when none of them knew what would happen in the future. He had to take it a day at a time and remember that eventually Enzo and Bella would have to be set free.

When Omar’s text came through, he blew out a breath of relief. Shit was getting too real too fast. He needed to take a step back and disengage for a while. He went to the door while Bella was showering and stepped out into the hall. Omar stood there. His face was impassive.

“I’ll be gone for a few hours. If you need anything or if something happens, call me.” Duncan slipped back into his American persona. It was easier to use the mask to protect himself than to expose who he really was. With the information Bella and Enzo had on him, they could destroy him.

At some point during the last few weeks, Enzo and Bella had crawled under his skin, and now, after having a taste of both of them, he didn’t know how he’d live without them. However, if he’d learned anything, they couldn’t be together. All three of them were broken, plus, he had the whole jail thing hanging over his head. Besides, if the FBI or anyone found out he was fucking them, he’d be shipped home and held in solitary for the remainder of his sentence.

“Will do. You look like shit. Everything okay?” Omar’s penetrating blue eyes bore into Duncan’s.

He waved off the guy’s concern. “Welcome to witness protection.”

Omar snorted. “It’s more than that, but sure. I’ll call if something happens.”

“Thanks.” Duncan headed to the elevator. Maybe with a few hours away to clear his head, he could find his perspective and rebuild the walls around his heart.

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