Page 48 of Mafia Doctor's Secret Baby

“Not exactly what we discussed?” she exclaims. “I never—I mean, I have a life here, I…”

She waves her hand around, but then, as she considers my question, something stops her.

“I don’t really have a life here, do I?” she muses, mostly to herself, it seems. “I’ve finished college. I don’t have a job. I just have Polly, and it’s not like she has friends or anything here. Apart from Cara, I mean, there’s nothing…”

She bites her lip and looks up at me.

“I guess I could,” she admits.

“That’s not the answer I want,” I reply firmly. “If you’re going to come with me, then I want it to be because you can’t think of anything better for you or for her. You hear me?”

She nods. “You’re right,” she agrees. “I don’t want to go along with anything just because…just because I feel like I don’t have any other choice. Everything that’s happened, it’s just been…a lot. I don’t know where it all leaves me. Or us.”

I brush my nose against hers. There’s so much I want to tell her, but I don’t want her to feel as though I’m pushing her toward a particular conclusion. I need her to come to these decisions on her own terms, no matter how much I might want to guide her toward a specific one.

“I want you to take your time,” I assure her. “I don’t want you to rush this. Anything you need, just tell me, and I’ll give it to you.As long as I get an answer when the time is right. That sound fair?”

She tilts her head back and meets my gaze, and then smiles.

“Yeah, it does,” she agrees, and she presses her head into my chest for a moment. “You mind if we just forget about that for now? I don’t think I can handle any heavy thoughts today…”

“Of course we can,” I promise her, and I plant a kiss on the top of her head. Though, despite what I’ve just said, there’s a part of me that doesn’t feel entirely good about this.

If she decides to stay…what then? What the hell happens next? How do I go on? Do I just live my life and pretend I don’t know they’re out there? Do I just make like none of this matters to me, and leave it at that? I don’t have a clue. I don’t know if I even could live without them, now that I’ve experienced what it’s like to be part of their lives…

I push the thought aside quickly. She will be able to sense if there’s any pressure coming from me, and that’s the last thing I want to put in her head right now. No, as far as I’m concerned, she will make her choice when the time is right—and nothing I can do or say will change that.

23

KATIE

“Oh my God,I’m so glad to see you!”

Cara lets out a gasp of relief as she tumbles over the doorstep and wraps me up in a huge hug. I squeeze her back, and just for a moment, I feel a rush of gratitude that she’s still in my life, even after everything that has happened.

She pulls back and looks me up and down, as though I might still be bearing some of the physical wounds of what I went through—but by now, three weeks later, there’s nothing left. Hell, they hardly did any real damage to me in the first place. Most of the harm that has taken place is contained inside my head right now, and that’s where I want it to stay.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t come see you sooner,” she continues, the words tumbling out of her in a rush. “I was on this trip for work, interviewing a—well, it doesn’t matter, I’m just so sorry this is the first I’ve seen of you since it all went down.”

“It’s fine,” I soothe her as best I can. I can tell the guilt is threatening to get the better of her, and that’s the last thing either of us needs right now. No, what matters is that I’m okay,that she’s okay, and that everything is behind me, once and for all.

“I couldn’t believe it when you called me that night,” she murmurs, as she steps inside, crossing her arms over her chest and shaking her head. “I hadn’t heard from you in a couple of days, but I thought you were just busy with Polly…oh, I should have done something sooner…”

“You couldn’t have done anything,” I remind her. “Those assholes, the ones who took me, it’s not like they would have just let me go. You would have gotten yourself in trouble too, and you know I could never live with myself if something happened to you?—”

The thought of it makes my voice catch in my throat. God, I’m still so emotional over everything—I need to pull myself together, but it feels nigh-on impossible after the stress of it all, the threat of what lingered over my head during that time.

“You’re right,” she sighs, planting a hand on her chest to calm herself. “I’m just…glad you’re safe. And that Polly is too. Where is she?”

“She’s sleeping,” I reply. “Should be awake in an hour or so, if you want to stick around to see her…”

“Are you kidding? Of course I do,” she replies with a small smile. “I’m here to catch up with her…”

I chuckle as I make us both a coffee—it’s a little strange, being back in this apartment again, after so long living with Luca. But I knew that when I saw Cara again I would want to be in my own space, on my own turf.

We settle on the couch, and she reaches over to give my knee a squeeze.

“How have you been coping with everything?” she asks softly, her voice laced with concern.

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