Page 38 of One of Them

Love?The word didn’t sit right on my tongue, no matter how often I spelled it out. I was so estranged from the feeling, I couldn’t see the beauty others swore by. I didn’t even understand what it meant.

I let men and women possess this body, toss it around as they pleased.

They dug their fingers into me, but none reached the heart. The organ hid behind a wall of doubts so tall, there wasn’t a weapon strong enough to breach it.

When I regained my composure, I choked out the truth. “No. I can’t say I have. You?”

“Never.” Sorrow reflected in her green eyes. “Do you believe it’s possible?”

“To find love?”

Alisa nibbled on her bottom lip. “To find love in this world,” she clarified. “And I mean true love. With devotion. A happy ending.”

“It’s not an option for me,” I murmured. “Are you looking?”

“I was,” she admitted, deep in thought. “Maybe I still am. Being a hopeless romantic, it’s not enough to be loved. I want to be worshiped and admired. I want to become someone’s reason for existence. The center of their universe, and they will be mine.” Alisa’s eyes lit up even more, the green orbs highlighted by the sunlight.

Her definition felt straight out of a movie, but the one she was cast in didn’t seem to follow the same script.

“Can Ilya give you that?” I voiced my doubts.

She visibly stiffened at my words. A part of me felt bad for mixing in reality, but I only pointed out the obvious. While an arranged marriage was as new to me as any marriage, it wasn’t hard to see there was no love between them. At least not yet. I’m not sure even ‘like’ could describe what they had.

Her beautiful face turned sad. “It’s a fantasy,” she shrugged. “Perhaps I’ll look forever.”

“You shouldn’t,” I encouraged her.

“I made my choices.” She exhaled a steady breath. “Do you at least believe in destiny?”

Hope displayed on her face before I disappointed her with a shake of my head. “I consider myself a realist.”

“Well, I believe there is something or someone out there for both of us.”

Twisting the wine glass between my fingers, I followed the movement of the red liquid instead. “Tell me more about your brothers.”

“Andrei is married now. His wife Mila is the daughter of a prominent Russian family. That’s probably the only reason my parents approved of the relationship. She works as a trauma surgeon. They’ve been together for what feels like forever.”

Forever, another concept I couldn’t get behind.

“They finally tied the knot two years ago. Technically, he’s the head of our family now, since my parents stepped down. Maxim was the middle child for a while, and it shows. He’s the one I’m closest to. Don’t tell him I said that, but I worry about him. And then there’s Luka, still finding his way,” she exhaled, a range of emotions flickering across her face, from love to worry and everything in between.

I often wondered what it was like to grow up in a big family. To have siblings, and while I’ll never find out, I was thankful for what I had.

“Are your other brothers taken?” I followed up with another question.

“As if.” Alisa rolled her eyes. Before I had a chance to react, she sat up straight and turned to me, slightly wide-eyed. “Oh my god. Which one are you interested in?”

I gulped. “Me? I’m not.”

This certainly wasn’t the best time to let her know what had already transpired between me and her favorite brother, so I kept mymouth shut.

“I wouldn’t mind if we became family. You have my blessings, no matter who you choose,” she encouraged. “I think Maxim would be the best match for you.”

If the wine glass weren’t empty, the creamy couch beneath us might be wearing a new color.

I lifted my hands in question, mindful of the curious eyes on me. “Why do I get the cuckoo one?”

With one eyebrow raised, Alisa answered, “There’s just something about how the room feels with you two in it.” No doubt referencing the encounter, the show we put on at their engagement party.

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