Page 11 of Hot for the Jerk

“Yes,” Raina and I said at the same time, then glared at each other.

“Well, you’re in luck.We have one room left.It has a queen-sized bed.I hope that’s okay?”

“Oh, no.We’re not together,” Raina blurted out.“Absolutely not together.No way.I wouldneverbe with him.Are you sure you don’t have something else available?A barn he could sleep in?A covered porch, maybe?A doghouse, perhaps?”

I deepened my glare.“Excuse me?I got here first.”

“Oh, I’m afraid we’re full except for the honeymoon suite.You’re welcome to it, but that’s all we have.”

“Go somewhere else, McEvoy,” Raina gritted through her teeth.“Be a gentleman for once.”

“I’m always a gentleman, to humans.You, are a demon.So,” I turned to the B&B owner, “I’ll take the room, please.”I pulled my credit card out of my wallet.

Raina did the same.“I’ll take the room, please.”

We both smacked our cards onto the counter.The little old lady’s watery, blue eyes bounced back and forth between us.“Do you two know each other?”she asked.

“Like a cow knows a fly,” I said.“She’s just a constant irritation that I’d love nothing more than to swat.”

Pink flooded Raina’s cheeks, and she bunched her fists.If she wasn’t so waterlogged, she’d have probably stomped too.“I’ll payextrafor the room,” she said.“Double.”

“I’ll pay triple,” I countered, inching my credit card closer to the woman behind the desk.

“You know, we have lots of pillows and blankets.One of you could sleep on the floor.”

I turned to the woman in the floral blouse.“What’s your name, please, ma’am?”

“Uh … Lenora.”

I extended my hand toward her, and she took it.I was careful not to crush her brittle bones, but I also didn’t give her a feeble shake.“Beautiful to meet you, Lenora.I’m Jagger.Jagger McEvoy of San Camanez Brewery, and I would be more than happy to hook your gorgeous little establishment up with free beer for a year if you let me take this room.”

“Are you trying tobribeyour way into getting the room?”Raina accused, plunking her hands on her shapely hips.

“I’m a businessman trying to negotiate a business deal.Now, if you wouldn’t mind, the lovely Lenora and I have things to discuss.”I attempted to step in front of Raina, but she shoved me out of the way, the scent of seawater and vomit from her hair making me gag.

“Well, I’m Raina Aaronson from the Westhaven Winery on San Camanez, and we’d love to hook you up withtwoyears of free wine if you’d let me have the room.”

“Now who’s trying to bribe?”I retorted.

Raina glared at me, her top lip curling just a little, reminding me of a cornered, wet cat.

I leaned onto the counter, giving Lenora—who was probably closing in on eighty—my most charming smile.“Is there aMr.Octopus Point Inn,Lenora?”

“Are you going to whore yourself out and offer sexual favors for a room, you big slut?”Raina suggested, staring at me with her mouth open like a codfish.

I scoffed and gave her a harsh look.“Onlyyouwould assume that.I’m simply trying to get to know Lenora better.”

Grasping at soggy paper straws at this point, Raina leaned over the counter, giving Lenora a big smile.“Or is there aMrs.Octopus Point Inn?Jagger here just assumes you’re straight.But we all know sexuality is a spectrum.”

I shook my head.“Such a fucking hypocrite!Now who’s the big slut?”

“Enough!”Lenora hollered.“I can offer youboththe room, or neither of you.But I’m not going to stand here and listen to any more.Either take it or leave it.And for the record, therewasa Mr.Octopus Point Inn, and he left me for Mrs.Sea Breeze Cabins.And if you knew better, you wouldn’t bring it up.”

My mouth dropped open.So did Raina’s.

Lenora glowered at us both, seeming to have grown at least a foot in height just from yelling.“Kill each other, or add to the population.I don’t care.Just don’t damage anything and don’t disturb the other guests.”She took both of our cards.“I’ll split the room between the two of you.That way, you’re both on the hook for any damages.”

“Thank you,” Raina and I both murmured, utterly chastised and staring at our sodden shoes.

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