Page 45 of Married to the Lord

Chapter Seventeen

“I really think I should speak with your father.” Augusta’s mother wrung her hands together, pacing the length of the oriental rug in the drawing room before turning and repeating the movement.

Augusta resisted pinching the bridge of her nose and lowered herself onto the sofa to retrieve her embroidery. She peered at her unfinished pattern without really seeing it. All she could remember was yesterday.

Yes, the embarrassment warmed her cheeks, yes she was mightily frustrated at Henry and it made her feel hot and prickly.

However, most of that warmth came from having sat with Miles at the end of the ball.

She could have sworn he was going to kiss her. She frowned. Or perhaps she was wrong. If only she understood men a little better, though she had a suspicion one could know everything about the world of men and still find Miles a conundrum. If he really was going to kiss her, did that mean the others were not really a mistake? Did he harbor some feelings for her or was it simply fanciful thinking? Goodness, how many times could someone repeat the same mistake?

“We have been patient enough with Henry,” her mother continued. “I think it is time your father spoke with Miles again.”

“No!” Augusta bit down on her lip as her mother’s eyes widened at the veracity of the comment.

“We must do what is best, Gus Gus.” Her mother shook her head and sank onto the sofa next to her, flattening the cushions so that Augusta ended up leaning into her mother’s ready embrace without leaving her a choice.

“I just think....that Miles is trying his best. I do not believe it will benefit us to berate him for his brother’s behavior.”

Her mother swiftly disentangled herself from Augusta and stood, pacing again. “You are right. The last thing we should wish to do is aggravate the man. After all, he is the man in charge of funding his brother. The last thing we wish to do is encourage him to cut your future husband off.”

“Mother! That is cold.”

She sighed and gave Augusta a look. “I have tried not to be, believe me.” She gave a soft smile. “We were so happy when Henry proposed. You are so good together and he really is the most affable of men. We knew he’d treat you well and he has the finances to ensure you are looked after when we are gone.”

“Oh, Mama...”

“I try not to put this on you but you are clever and I know you are not ignorant to the ways of the world.”

Augusta nodded. How could a woman ever forget her standing in this world? She had known since she was a young girl—her main duty was to marry and marry well. It was easy for those who were fair and lovely with bright personalities that ensured they garnered attention from more than one suitor. For her, she had always known that once Henry had proposed, that was it—her one chance.

“If Henry continues this behavior...”

Augusta set down her embroidery to the side of her. “Mama, I am certain there was good reason for his lack of attendance,” she assured her. “He was most sincere in his apology to me upon his return. Do not fret.”

Her mother’s shoulders lost their stiff appearance. “I suppose you are right. There must have been good reason and Henry was never the sort to betray his promises.”

“Precisely,” she said with more confidence than she felt. However, it would not do for her parents to fret over her future nor would it help for them to get involved. Especially when she was feeling as confused as she was. How did one let go of a path that one had been set on for so long? How did one explain that it was for no other reason than that she was developing feelings for a man who might not even want her?

Oh Lord, who was she kidding? Her feelings were not developed. They were fully flourished, seeping into every inch of her and overtaking her until she could not see sense.

“I think I might go for a walk,” Augusta said, standing so quickly that it made her head swirl a little and she had to pause.

Her mother blinked at her. “A walk?”

“Yes, I could do with the fresh air. I am still a little fatigued after the ball.”

“You do look a little wan.”

“See? Some air will do me well.”

Augusta retrieved her bonnet and a light spencer jacket with ruched shoulders. She escaped quickly, tying her bonnet as she went and drawing in breaths of fresh summer air. Wildflowers lined the edge of the dirt road away from her house, specks of white and purple interlaced with the occasional yellow. She plucked up a purple one, carrying it with her as though it was keeping her company on her walk.

Though she walked briskly, making her limbs feel warm and her heart pound quickly, none of it could erase the deep, uncertain feeling that lingered in the depths of her stomach. It bunched there, occasionally fluttering up to her chest and throat, making it feel tight.

She knew what she needed to do but she was not certain she had the courage. If only she were more like Joanna or Chloe...or almost anyone. How she wished she was anyone but her.

“Augusta.”

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