Page 15 of Married to the Earl

“I’ll bring it with me,” she said. “I was reading a book, and I’d like to return to it, if you have no objection.”

“No,” he said. “No, Astrid, I have no objection.”

Astrid got to her feet, picking up her bowl in one hand and her piece of bread in the other, and walked away. A part of her wanted to look over her shoulder at her father as she left, but she resisted the temptation to do so. She was sure he would be just sitting there, looking miserably down at the table.

He knows, she thought, suddenly furious.He knows there’s something about the way he’s gone about this that’s hurtful and wrong. And he did it anyway. He expects me to believe he cares for me—he claims to care for me—but he makes arrangements for my future without even including me in the discussion.

Perhaps Lord Middleborough would say no to her father’s offer. Astrid would have to hold on to that hope.

But as she climbed the stairs to her room, she had to acknowledge that a rejection of her father’s offer seemed very unlikely. If what she had learned about Lord Middleborough was true, surely, he would jump at any opportunity to find a wife.

None of the noblewomen will have him, she thought.No fathers will let their daughters anywhere near a man with a reputation like that, not if they have any better options. That’s why he’ll have to marry beneath his station.

But that doesn’t mean he’ll have to chooseme.

Maybe he won’t like me. Father says I’m a prize, but he’s biased. Maybe Lord Middleborough will find me ugly and dull.

A girl could dream.

Astrid made it to her room and tucked herself into her window seat. This was her favorite place in all the world. She had a marvelous view of the city from here, and she liked to spend her days watching people coming and going, on their way to places she could only imagine.

Her appetite had deserted her. She set her bowl down on the floor and picked at the bread, forcing herself to tear off little pieces and eat them as she thought about what the future might hold.

If Lord Middleboroughdidaccept her father’s offer, Astrid would have to leave her home—her mother’s home—behind. She would have to leave her bedroom and her window seat and her lovely view, and she would have to go live with the Earl in his manor.

She would have to leave her father.

She was angry with him right now. Right now, she didn’t want to be around him at all. But underneath that anger, he was still her father, and she loved him very much.

The two of them had been together all her life. They had lost the third member of their family—Astrid’s mother—when she had been born, so they had always been a pair. And now she was facing down the idea of marriage and leaving her father’s house forever.

How could he do this?she wondered.How could he give me up? If the situation were reversed, I could never have done it to him.

She had always known that she would be leaving someday. It was only natural for a girl to leave her father’s house and become a man’s wife. It was something she had expected, something she had anticipated.

At times, it was even something she had looked forward to. There was adventure there, certainly. Learning to live with a man as his wife, beginning a new phase of her own life, perhaps even embarking on the journey of motherhood—it was all very exciting.

She just hadn’t expected it to happen sofast.

And what would happen if Lord Middleborough said no? Would her father abandon the idea for a while? Or would he simply move on to the next man? Why had he done this now? Would he keep going until he had made her a match?

Twenty-one was old enough to marry. He was right about that. But it certainly wasn’t so old that onehadto marry, or risk missing the chance. So, what was his hurry all of a sudden?

Maybe he’s tired of my presence here in the house. Maybe he wants to have the place to himself. Maybe he’s just tired of being a father, of worrying about a daughter all the time.

No. That couldn’t be. She couldn’t believe that of the father she loved, the father who had always been so protective of her.

But what other reason could there be?

She abandoned her bread on the window seat, crossed to her bed, and lay down, tears finally beginning to flow. She curled up and allowed herself to cry until she was exhausted.

It wasn’t until she was on the verge of slipping from consciousness that she remembered her father’s financial trouble with Lord Farnsworth, but the thought flitted away before she could grasp it.

Chapter 7

By the time Henry arrived at The Arc for their evening drink, Conor felt as if he was losing his mind. He had thought through so many different scenarios that he no longer felt in control of his imagination.

Futures spiraled out before him as if he had already chosen them. In one, he was married to Astrid Dawson, and her reputation was in tatters. She was ashamed of him, ashamed of herself. She refused to leave her bedroom. Their children were raised by servants, and people in town spoke of her only in hushed whispers.