Page 32 of Married to the Earl

She had not expected to have a lady’s maid, though, and focusing on Betsy made her feel a little more relaxed. Perhaps she would have a friend in her frightening new home.

“It’s not a very big party,” Betsy said. “Lord Middleborough and some of his friends. Your father, of course. And some other members of thetonfrom around the region. But it looks as though Lord Middleborough wanted to keep things small.”

That’s a blessing. It was exactly what Astrid would have wanted too, if anybody had asked her.

Of course, nobody had asked her.

Hardly anybody’s asked me what I want since this whole mess began.

And yet, would she have changed anything? If everything had stopped in its tracks right now and Lord Middleborough had come to her and asked her exactly what she wanted, would she have made any alterations to what was about to happen?

I do want to marry him. I want to keep his attention away from my father, and from the crime my father committed. If a wedding is the way to do that, then that’s what I want, and I’m happy to be his wife.

And I want the wedding to be small. I don’t want too many people to witness what’s happening. Because I’m no fool. I know there will be questions. Why is the Earl marrying the solicitor’s daughter?

Some people—the kinder, more generous ones—might assume that the Earl had merely taken a fancy to her. She supposed even these would see her as an opportunist, a social climber—but that probably couldn’t be avoided. She could live with that.

But others would see her differently.

Her father had told her about the rumors that circulated about Lord Middleborough.Noblewomen stay away from him, he had said.Men don’t trust him with their daughters.

People might think something untoward had taken place between Astrid and Lord Middleborough, and that she was now expecting his child.

And that would be a shameful thing.

It doesn’t matter,she reminded herself.It will become obvious all too quickly that I’m not expecting any child at all.Any gossip about her that was started by today’s wedding would be put to rest when she didn’t give birth in nine months’ time. Her virtue would once again be above reproach.

There was another possibility, and that was that people would guess the true reason for today’s wedding. She wouldn’t have been surprised if some of the guests at least came close to figuring it out.

I’m sure some of them know my father,she thought.I love him more than anything, but he is not a strong man, and I’m sure some of the wedding guests know it. And what if Lord Farnsworth has told the rest of thetonabout his dealings with Father?

If that had happened, people would know that her father had been in financial trouble.

It wouldn’t take very much to put the pieces together. He had been in financial trouble, and now his daughter was marrying an earl.

If anyone figured out what the true story was, Astrid’s sacrifice might end up being of no help at all to her father. She would keep him out of prison, it was true, but his reputation would be ruined. People would know that he had committed some manner of infraction and traded away his daughter’s hand to exonerate himself.

What if this is all for nothing? What if I spend my life in Middleborough Manor, and it doesn’t help Father at all?

“My Lady?” Betsy asked.

Astrid shook her head, trying to clear it. “I apologize, Betsy,” she said. “I have a lot on my mind today.”

“It must be a very exciting day for you,” Betsy said with a smile. “If it please you, My Lady, I’m to take you to the ceremony now. Lord Middleborough is waiting.”

My whole new life is waiting, in other words.

For a moment, Astrid wanted to sit down and cry. Once she left this room, she would never be the same again. She would stop being her father’s daughter, and she would become Lord Middleborough’s wife.

She steeled herself. “All right,” she said to Betsy. “Let’s go.”

* * *

The ceremony itself passed in a blur. Astrid felt as though she was sleepwalking, although she came back to herself a bit in the moment when she was pronounced Lord Middleborough’s wife. The kiss they shared was chaste, hardly more than a performance for the onlookers, and for that Astrid was thankful.

Lord Middleborough was an attractive man. That much could not be denied. And she found herself weak kneed and cotton headed in his presence. But she was far from comfortable with him, and she didn’t feel ready to share a kiss with the man.

Of course, we’ll soon be sharing much more than that. The thought was dark and anxiety inducing. She didn’t want to imagine the duties she would be called upon to fulfill as his wife when they returned to the manor. She wasn’t ready for that.

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