Conor sighed. “I know,” he agreed. “I’m sorry.”If only I’d had the opportunity to give Henry a larger stake in the club before everything happened with Tobias Dawson, he thought ruefully.Then he could take over the responsibilities I’ve been neglecting lately, and he would probably be happy to do so. As things stood, Henry only saw that he was being asked to do extra work with no compensation. Of course that seemed unfair.
“I don’t mind covering for you for a while,” Henry said. “But it’s been two weeks. Do you think you might be coming in anytime soon?”
“I have to make sure Astrid is settled in well before I leave her alone in the manor,” Conor explained. “I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable.”
“I don’t understand,” Henry said. “Doesn’t she have a lady’s maid?”
“She does, yes.”
“And your Mr. DuBois would be here.”
“Yes. Astrid would be well taken care of. I have no doubt of that.”
“Then what’s the problem?” Henry asked.
Conor hesitated, struggling to put words to the feelings that had been troubling him. “The problem is that…well, I don’twantto leave her alone. She’s more curious than I’d anticipated when I first brought her to live here. She spends most of her time up in her chambers, but if I were to leave the manor—”
“Ah,” Henry said. “You’re afraid she would go exploring and learn something about you that you don’t want her to know, is that it?”
“Not exactly.” How could he put this in terms that his gregarious friend would understand? How could he explain how tentative the relationship he had with his wife seemed to be, as if it were built on sand? It felt as though being away from her might give her the opportunity to realize she didn’t like him after all.
He couldn’t allow the progress they’d made to be undone. Every inch of ground he gained with her felt so hard won.
“She’s different than I expected her to be,” he said finally, because Henry was still watching him, still waiting for an explanation.
“Different in what way?” Henry asked.
“It’s hard to describe. I thought she would be more intimidated,” he said. “By my reputation, by my title…but she’s not like that. She’s not afraid to confront me. To disagree with me.”
“I see,” Henry said. “You’re still working to bring her to heel.”
Conor felt a frown take over his face. That wasn’t right at all. The last thing he wanted was to bring Astrid under his control. He loved that she wasn’t afraid to question him. It had made his days interesting in a way they never had been before.
But he supposed Henry would probably interpret that as a weakness.
Maybe itwasa weakness. Maybe a strong man wouldn’t allow his wife to challenge him the way Astrid did. Maybe a strong man would have silenced her when she voiced disagreement, ordered her to his bed instead of giving her her own chambers…
He couldn’t very well dothat, though.
Of course you can,he reminded himself.It’s your right as her husband. And she’s had two weeks to herself to prepare for the idea.
But it still didn’t sit well with him. He couldn’t force her, even if itwasa sign of weakness to hold himself back. It seemed too callous, too cruel.
“It’s no surprise that she doesn’t know the right way to behave, really,” Henry said mused. “She’s a commoner, after all.”
Conor felt himself bristle.You’re a commoner too,he wanted to remind his friend. Being a commoner didn’t mean somebody didn’t know the right way to behave.
Then he remembered that he had been thinking the very same thing about Astrid just that morning, when she had asked why the servants couldn’t eat in the dining room.
But I’m her husband. It’s different when I think those things. And besides, I would never say them out loud.
“I’ll tell you what,” Henry said. “Why don’t I stay for supper tonight?”
“You’re inviting yourself to supper? Weren’t you just criticizing my wife’s decorum?”
“No,” Henry said, frowning. “You’re the one who criticized her decorum. You’re the one who was complaining about how she talks back to you and challenges your authority. I just said it wasn’t surprising. Or did I miss something?”
You missed the fact that I wasn’t complaining.