Page 50 of Married to the Earl

“And I knew from the moment I did that you were lovely. But I never thought I would actually have you for my own. Our worlds were too far apart.”

“You were an Earl, and I was a commoner.”

“I was a man with a horrible reputation, and you were Tobias Dawson’s cherished and protected only daughter.”

“So that’s why you said yes,” she said.

He nodded. “I would have said yes in an instant, but I wasn’t sure if you wantedme. Then, when we had supper at your father’s house, you told me you did. But you still seemed…unsure, somehow. It was clear you weren’t afraid of me, but it was just as clear that you weren’t eager in the same way I was.”

“And so you gave me my own chambers,” she realized, making the connection.

“And I promised myself I wouldn’t inflict my company on you when you came to live at Middleborough,” he said. “I promised myself I would follow your lead, and that nothing would happen between us, not even a conversation, until you indicated you wanted it.”

That’s why he’s always seemed so cold, then. It wasn’t just because of his business. It wasn’t just a habit he’d developed of keeping people at arm’s length.

He was trying to show her he cared.

She was overwhelmed, suddenly, by a rush of affection for him.

“I might be ready for something to happen between us,” she said, taking his other hand, pulling him closer, and rising up on her toes to kiss him.

Chapter 20

Conor could hardly believe his own good fortune.

He had expected months to pass before Astrid became comfortable in his home. He had prepared for the possibility that she would never fully embrace their marriage and the life he wanted to build with her. He had been sure she would cooperate, but he had been equally sure that she would hold a part of herself back, at least for a time.

And earlier today, when he had offered to let her return to her father’s house…

What made me do that?he wondered. He hadn’t planned it, hadn’t thought about it in advance. He hadn’t considered what the repercussions of such an action would be. And yet, he knew that if she had taken him up on his offer, he would have let her go right then and there. It would have been the end of their marriage.

For half a minute, he had believed she was going to do it.

My reputation is bad enough already,he thought.It never would have survived being left by a commoner. He would have been ruined.

And yet, he realized, that wasn’t why his heart was racing at the thought of what he had almost lost.

He hadn’t thought about his reputation at all.

His only concern had been losing Astrid.

He would have let her go if she had wanted to go. But it would have killed him to do it.

But I’m so glad I offered, he thought.Because how else would I have learned that shedoesn’twant to leave? How would I ever have discovered that she’s happy to be here now?

It was a wonderful piece of information to get.

Now he touched his lips gingerly, recalling the soft press of hers as she’d kissed him out on the grounds. The scent of her hair, the way she’d molded her body to his, the warmth of her…

It was a thought he knew he would be revisiting again and again in the days to come.

I want to do something for her,he thought.Something to commemorate today. We should make an occasion of it. We should celebrate the new closeness we’ve discovered.

He spent the next few hours in the parlor, carefully building a fire in the fireplace and arranging the furniture the way he wanted it. Then he sent for Astrid.

She arrived, escorted by Betsy, in a gown of spring green with her hair loose around her shoulders. “Isn’t it supper time?” she asked. “I expected to meet you in the dining room.” She looked around the parlor, clearly noticing that he had pushed the furnishings away from the center of the room and back toward the walls. “What’s going on, Conor?”

He walked over to her and took her hand. “I thought we might take our supper in here tonight,” he said.

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