Page 52 of Married to the Earl

Conor nodded. “I don’t like it much either,” he admitted.

“But you didn’t seem as though it bothered you,” she said.

“I can’t let them see they’re getting to me,” Conor said. “That’s what they want. They want to know that it’s working. I can’t let them win.”

“That’s awful,” Astrid said. “It’s awful that you have to go through your life with that kind of treatment around you all the time. It’s awful that you have to pretend it doesn’t matter to you when it does.”

“It probably matters less than you think to tell the truth,” Conor said. “I’ve grown used to it. And I can show you how to handle it, how to steel yourself against it in public so that people never realize you care.”

Astrid nodded. “You might need to. I wouldn’t want to shame you by reacting in public.”

“You could never shame me,” he said. “You’re wonderful, Astrid. I’ll be proud to show you off when we go out together. I’m proud to have you as my wife.”

She tightened her grip on his hand. “And I hope you know that whatever happens, I’d never leave your side,” she said. “You offered that to me today, and it took me by surprise. But even if I’m ridiculed in public, even if my reputation is tarnished, I won’t renounce you. I don’t want to end this marriage, and I don’t want to return to my father’s house.”

“Are you sure?” he said, hardly able to believe her words.

“I pride myself on being a very loyal person,” she said. “I was a loyal daughter to my father for many years. Now I will be a loyal wife to you.”

“You really don’t have to be,” he said. “I won’t force you to, Astrid.”

“No, you won’t,” she agreed. “I know you won’t. I’m choosing this. You did offer me a choice. Before I ever came here, you asked me if this was what I wanted. You asked me again a few hours ago. And you’re asking me now.”

He nodded.

“Has my answer ever been no?”

“It’s always been yes.”

“And have I ever seemed uncertain?”

“No, you haven’t.”

“The only thing that’s changed is my reason for being here,” she said. “I care for you, Conor. I think I’m falling in love with you.”

He lifted a hand and stroked her cheek gently, marveling at her beauty and bravery.How did I get so lucky?he wondered.What could I have done to deserve such a treasure?

The intimacy of the moment was interrupted by DuBois, who arrived with platters of food.Supper. Conor was half tempted to order the butler away, to push the plates of food to one side, to take Astrid in his arms here in front of the fire and forget everything else.

But Astrid’s stomach rumbled with hunger, and Conor forced himself to focus. He would wait. He had waited this long, and he could wait a little longer.

Besides, the food did smell excellent.

He lifted the lid off of his plate to reveal beef steak and potatoes seasoned with butter and herbs. “This looks wonderful,” he said. “Don’t you think so?”

Astrid nodded. “The cook really outdid herself this time,” she said.

They ate in silence, sitting much closer together than they would have been able to if they had taken their meal in the dining room. Before them, the fire crackled and popped, filling the air with sound so that the lack of conversation didn’t seem to matter.

Conor felt utterly relaxed, in a way he never had with Astrid. In a way he never had, in fact, with anyone. The difference between acting as if he didn’t care what people thought of him and knowing he didn’t have to worry about what someone thought of him couldn’t have been more apparent.

Astrid liked him.

Maybe Astrid was falling in love with him.

And maybe I’m falling in love with her.

She shifted slightly against him, resting a little more of her weight on his shoulder, and he leaned into her to give her support.

---