Page 82 of Married to the Earl

I’m going to be waiting for the other shoe to drop until this is all over, he thought unhappily.I’m going to be dreading every knock at the door in case it’s some mysterious benefactor coming to collect on a debt.

Almost, for a moment, he allowed himself to wish that he was back in his cell. It had been cold and wet and had smelled horrible, and his stay there had been degrading and humiliating. But at least in his cell Conor had known what he was doing. He had known that he was handling things as best he could, and he had been certain of the appropriate next steps he needed to take.

Now, back out in the world, he felt suddenly adrift.

What if this was a trick of some kind? What if it could be used against him when he went to stand trial? He didn’t think it could—how could he be judged for following the instructions of a police officer? But nothing about any of this made any sense.

The only people who would care enough to try to get me out of jail are Astrid and her father,he thought.Astrid, because she loves me, and her father because he loves Astrid. Nobody else in the world gives a damn about me or about what happens to me. They never have.

Could Astrid or her father have arranged his release?

That was a tempting thought, but with a resigned sigh, Conor let it go. Neither of them had that kind of power. Astrid wouldn’t have been permitted to even give a statement defending him—she was his wife, and the law forbade her involvement. As for her father, he wasn’t powerful enough to make anything on this scale happen.

I wish I could believe that they were behind it. But it just doesn’t make any sense.

So, all right then. If not them, then who?

Could Henry have been involved? It was hard to picture Henry, the consummate playboy, going to the mat for anyone on a serious issue. But then, Henry was Conor’s oldest friend.Maybe I’ve sold him short, Conor thought.Maybe he did care enough to get involved.

After all, Conor would certainly have intervened if Henry had ever been arrested.Perhaps he feels the same way, and I’ve simply never bothered to notice that about him.

And Henry probablywouldhave the power to sway the police. He was a significant shareholder in The Arc, and Conor knew better than anybody that money talked. And even though Henry was of common birth, he was friends with the people who mattered. He had an in with almost every noble family nearby.

Henry. It must have been Henry. Nothing else makes any sense.

The mystery appeared to be solved, and Conor sat back in his chair.I’ll summon Henry to the manor tonight,he decided.I’ll want to thank him for his hard work in getting me freed, and I’m sure Astrid will want to convey her thanks too. And we’ll have to have a celebratory meal, of course.

For now, though, all that mattered was getting to Astrid.

He longed to wrap his arms around her, to feel the softness of her body pressed against his. He wanted to finish their last evening together, the one that had been interrupted by his arrest.

A part of him wanted to stay up all night with her, going over everything that had happened since the last time they’d seen each other. He wanted to tell her all about the jail cell where he’d been kept and what it had felt like to be locked up. He wanted to tell her how frightened he’d been when the other prisoners had called out to him. He wanted to tell her how it had felt when the constables had sneered at him, as if he were a total waste of life.

No. I’ll never tell her those things. It’s too much of a burden. She shouldn’t have to think about me in that position. I’ll keep it to myself. I’ll protect her from it.

After all, he was her husband. It was his responsibility to make sure she felt safe in the world.

Conor knew that the things he’d been through over the past couple of days were going to haunt him. He would probably never be the same. Those images would be in his head forever. The memory of what it had felt like to find himself in jail was never going to go away.

But he wouldn’t allow Astrid to live with those terrible things in her head.

For her,he thought,the world can still be beautiful. For her, everything can be repaired. This will fade away, given time. It will become just a forgotten moment, a short span of time in her otherwise charmed life during which things were falling apart. But we’ll put ourselves back together, and Astrid will be able to go on undamaged.

Of course, that would only be true if Conor managed to get himself acquitted of the crime he’d been accused of.

But somehow, now that he was back out in the world, acquittal seemed a lot more likely. It was as though the crime had stopped sticking to him now, had slipped away.Lord Hayward’s Murderhad remained behind at the jailhouse. Conor was going home.

The carriage came to a halt in front of Middleborough Manor. Conor climbed out and drew a deep breath.I’m coming, Astrid, he thought to himself.Please be all right.

Chapter 33

The first sign of trouble was the fact that all the lamps were lit. At this time of night, they shouldn’t have been. It made sense for the upstairs lamps to be lit—Astrid would be awake in her chambers, no doubt—but downstairs?

There should be no one active on the lower level of the manor. Not at this hour.

Perhaps they know I’m coming home, Conor thought.Perhaps a message was sent. He had assumed he would be walking in to greet an unsuspecting Astrid, surprising her with his return. But it was possible she was sitting inside waiting for him.

Better if she is,he decided.That would mean she hasn’t been panicking.

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