“So you are telling me that you have been with women but neverbeenwith a woman?”
“Indeed.”
“But why?”
“Contrary to popular belief, I care if there are consequences to my actions.”
“You mean you did not wish for a woman to fall in the family way?”
Her eyes remained wide and her posture tight. Lilly clutched the sheet so tight he saw the muscles in her arms quiver. He couldn’t blame her. She’d been fed lie after lie, not just by the scandal sheets but by the very way he interacted with her at their first meeting and by the secrets he kept. Maybe she would not even believe him after he told her everything. But it was a risk he was willing to take. If anyone deserved the truth, it was her.
“It was not all for honorable reasons, I am afraid to say.”
“So what were your reasons?”
He sighed and stroked a finger over the soft cotton of the sheet, wishing he could move his hand farther, perhaps smooth it up and along the length of her legs and confess all as he held her in his arms.
But he couldn’t be distracted, and Lilly was the biggest distraction of all. He couldn’t even keep a decade old vow with her around.
“My parents are not my parents.” The words came out firmer than he’d expected, without a flourish or a great rush of air. It was more a mere fact than a burden he had been carrying around with him his whole life.
“Your parents are not your parents?” she repeated.
“Yes.”
“As in...” She frowned and shook her head.
“The Marquis of Blackthorpe raised me, in a manner of speaking, but my parents were unable to conceive. So desperate was my father for an heir, he took me from a struggling widower and passed me off as his own.”
Any color in her cheeks vanished. “You are not of their blood?”
“No.” He held her gaze, his heart increasing its pace.
She had power over him now—a power he’d never wanted to give anyone. Yet he gave it gladly. Let Lilly have say over his future, over whether he lived or died. He didn’t care. So long as she knew he was honest with her.
“And your real parents?”
August shrugged. “A groom from the stables apparently. His lover died in childbirth. The man was paid off and never heard from again. My mother didn’t take to the plan too well and wanted nothing to do with me.”
“But, August, she could hardly blame you for your father’s plans for an heir!”
“I know that now, of course.” He offered a tight smile. “But it took a few years to figure that out.”
“So your father passed you as his own, despite the risk to you both.” She shifted closer and the sheets bunched around her bent knees, making her look like a little bundle of cotton that he wanted to scoop up and kiss. “A risk that still exists so long as your true father is still alive.”
“Fraud is often punishable by death.”
“And pretending to be a member of the nobility...”
“Yes.”
“Good Lord, August, you shouldn’t be telling me this.”
“I could not spend another day lying to you, Lil.”
“Does anyone else know of this?”
“No one.”