Page 50 of The Summer We Played Pretend

“And Jackson is a great guy and clearly worships the ground you walk on. Anyone can see that,” she continues ignoring me. “He won’t think anything but the best of you.”

"I hope you’re right.”

"Secondly," she continues, her voice taking on a more reassuring tone, "it's totally okay to take things slow. There's no rulebook for relationships, you know? And trust me, Jackson likes you for who you are. He's not expecting some wild party girl."

I bite my lip, considering her words. "You’re right.

"Of course I am," Sara says confidently. "He’s known you long enough to know what you’re like and he’s not like Brendan.” She makes a face “He’s not going to pressure you but he’ll be honest.”

“God, Sara, my head feels such a mess. I thought things would be easier now we’re together and they are amazing but—”

“You’re too much of a planner. You just need to go with the flow and be honest with Jackson. If you’re super horny for him, tell him.”

“Gross.” But it’s not a lie. I am super horny for him. But I’m also scared. What do I tell him? Oh, hey, Jackson, I kind of really want sex with you but also I’m terrified I’ll be rubbish or that I’ll hate it and—

“Chloe, stop overthinking.”

I force my attention back to my phone. “You’re right of course.”

“I’m always right.”

“I just wish it was simpler. It feels like it’s only going to get harder, especially with Ethan coming home unexpectedly. I thought he was planning to travel all summer.”

“So what?”

"They're best friends, Sara,” I remind her, “and I'm Ethan's little sister. What if this messes everything up?"

Sara rolls her eyes so hard I'm surprised they don't get stuck. "Oh, please. Your brother can suck it."

"Sara!"

"What? It's true," she says unapologetically. "We're not living in medieval times, Chloe. You're allowed to date whoever you want, even if it's your brother's best friend. Ethan doesn't get a say in this."

“I know, I know. I just can’t stop worrying about it.”

Sara tilts her head. “It’s easy to say stop worrying, I know, but you really do need to. You’ve been wound up so tightly since you started dating Brendan that I think you’ve forgotten how to relax.”

“I’m working on it,” I protest.

“Oh yeah, sounds like it.” She shifts the phone close to her face. “Just remember you’re in control. No one else. You.”

I gnaw on the end of my thumb and nod. “I’m in control,” I repeat and sigh. “Now I’m bored with talking about me. Please tell me you have some gossip or drama in your life.”

Sara rests her chin on her hand and flashes a smile. “No drama here. I’m perfect, don’t you know?”

I laugh. “Why do introverts always attract extroverts?”

“Someone has to adopt you or you’d all hide away forever.”

We chat for a few more minutes before saying goodnight. As I end the call, I flop back onto my bed, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to my ceiling.

I close my eyes and recall the feel of Jackson’s lips on mine. Sara’s right. I’ve been so caught up in worrying—about my parents, about being the perfect girlfriend—that I don’t know how to stop.

It’s time to start afresh and being with Jackson is the perfect time to do that. He cares for me and I know he’d never do anything to hurt or upset me. With Jackson, I can finally be myself. It’s time to stop letting my history with Brendan mess with my head.

Chapter Twenty-One

Jackson

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