Page 105 of Bonds of Fate

Jay watches him for a long moment before nodding. “I know. I can see it. And now that I’m bonded with you both, I canfeelit. It’s the same as Gideon and Luca’s.”

He doesn’t explain further, and Grayson doesn’t ask. The nature of the bonds looks different to every Were lucky enough to have them, but that doesn’t make them any less real.

They’ve started the walk home again, and it’s easier not to look at Jay when they talk about Grayson being Jay’s beloved Nix’s soulmate.

Grayson is surprised when hedoesgo on to describe his bond with Nix. “When I bonded with Nix, there was this light, I swear. White and pure, and it was so intense. It’s like I’ve got two hearts in my chest now.”

“That’s not hyperbole? Like, for real?” His pack alpha sighs with a nod, and it’s so lovesick that Grayson has to smile.

“Yeah. I mean, I feel all of you to some extent and in varying ways. I love all of you so much, I hurt with the power of it, but Nix…he’s…”

“More? I get that. But how can you let him do this, then? How can you risk yourheart?”They’re almost home, and Grayson needs to see Nix—he isn’t sure hewants to, but the need is strong, and he wants to hear Jay out before he does.

“I can’t tell you I’m not conflicted, because Iam—but I’m notlettinghim, Grayson. He’s his own person, and even if we don’t like it, this isn’t about buying a pair of shoes or launching a political career—though, for the record, he’d be great at that. No, this is abouthischoices.Hisbody. And Luca’s right—he’s had those choices taken from him too many times in ways sohorrificI can’t even think about them without wanting to burn the world down. I will not be another person who decidesforhim.”

Grayson has always—loudly and publicly—championed bodily autonomy in all its forms, but he’d never once considered Nix’s choices inthatlight. The realization hits like a blow, dragging with it a crushing wave of inevitable fear.

“Alpha.”His voice carries everything he can’t say—all his fear, his helplessness, his desperate need todosomething.

Jay responds the way he always does: with open arms and a solid shoulder, steady as the earth beneath them.

“Come here, pretty.”

“He’s going to hurt. I don’t know how I’m going to handle that. I am so angry all the time now. I have just found him, and now I could lose him again.”

“We’ll make sure he can’t lose.”

“You can’t promise that to himorme. But it’s not what I mean. Hayes was vicious when he had all the time in the world, and now, when he’s got nothing to lose? Tell me he’s not going to make Nix listen to every horrible word, make him hear themwhile we watch.”

Make them listen while Hayes taunts his sweet angel. Grayson isn’t sure he can do it and not jump the barricade and rip his heart out himself. Jay must agree because there’s a sudden burst of forest fire that his alpha tries to get under control with deep breaths.

“I can’t, and you are right. But it’s not our decision to stop him any more than we would make him do it. Don’t you see? If we do, then we will lose him. Hell, we won’t be better thanHayes.I will not survive losing him again, Grayson. If he walks away, I will follow to the ends of the earth—to Hell and back.”

NowthatGrayson understands.

The conflicted emotions run in a dizzying vortex behind his eyes, so he closes them and puts his head on Jamie’s shoulder.

“Promise you’ll think about it? Talk to him and try to see it from his perspective.”

Grayson is only able to give him a little nod, and now that they’re done, the wolf is insisting he sees their omega.

“Thanks. I’m going to see him now. We’ll be down soon.”

Grayson grabs the second bag, and when Jay keys in the code, he gives thought to what Luca said about all the ways Nix might be showing them how he is surviving the trauma day-to-day.

That there might be more things that Grayson and the pack don’t see, and they are missing the opportunity to reassure their mate and love him through them, is troubling. He resolves to do better, get his head out of his ass, and work at keeping the wolf down with a firmer hand.

Grayson isn’t ignorant enough to think this is the last of those overpowering emotions, but maybe now he’ll be thinking about what Nix needs, too.

There’s the smell of Thai food as he flies by the kitchen, and he ignores Jay’s call about dinner, taking the steps two at a time.

There’s no sound coming from Nix’s room, so he knocks lightly and hears a soft, “Come in, Gray.”

Nix moves to sit on the corner of the bed when Grayson walks in. His hair is messy, as if he’d been lying down but not sleeping.

“Hey.” He’s wary, and Grayson hates it—it makes him sad and mad at himself, and those feelings churn in his gut, curdling his ice cream snack.

“Hey, Angel. I uh…got this stuff at the store and…uh, yeah. I’m sorry we didn’t think of it sooner. Want to see if you like any of it?”

---