Page 114 of Bonds of Fate

That the haunting possibility of it will be erased—permanently.

Finn’s friend, Baz, has a plan for the omegas to come out together, and it makes him feel more hopeful than anything he’s heard yet, except maybe seeing Arlo’s pregnancy up close.

The roundness of his belly had made Nix’s new secondary gender even more real. The hope that blossomed had been so sharp, and a tiny part of him wanted to revel in it alone, to maybe spend a bit of time dreaming about the possibilities and lay his guilt down for a little while.

He felt a bit guilty telling Grayson that he needed some time to himself because they had turned a corner this afternoon. When he had seen his brown hair after so much time, it had felt like a weight had been lifted.

He’d been happy to share that turning point, and it hadn’t felt strange at all to feel a tingling of Grayson’s relief in his chest. They seemed to be so in sync about things–or at least they had been before Nix dropped the bomb, and this afternoon saw a little of that return.

Grayson had wanted to continue that feeling of relief with some more one-on-one time, but Nix knew if he’d come with him, they wouldn’t be sleeping, and Nix is still a bit…emotionally bruised by today’s events.

While everyone but Gideon had seemed to “come around” just enough to support his decision on the surface, Nix knew they were holding back how they really felt, Grayson included.

It isn’t hard to see that they wanted to smooth over the emotional bumps so much that they haven’t entirely sat with their acceptance yet, and Nix needs them on his side for real. Not just sucking it up to put smiles on faces and butts in beds. Was that cynical? Maybe, but Nix no longer had time to ease his mates along the rose-lined path. He needed them to be asdetermined he was going to triumph here as he was. And that called for a bit of time for reflection.

The only genuine support he’d had from the beginning had been Luca. Nix hadn’t had a chance to ask him why he had been so ready to step up and champion his choices right off the bat, but even without a reason, Luca had been impassioned. It gave Nix the biggest jolt of love and affection. He wished he could climb under the covers of Luca’s bed and roll into his mocha-scented mate, and fall asleep to a soft lullaby he would probably make up on the fly.

But Luca was busy with Gideon.

He had tried to put on a brave face for Nix, and he’d said things would be better in the morning. Nix hadn’t believed him then, but his mom had always said that sometimes you just needed to have faith.

It was obvious that Gideon and Luca were still working through their disagreement as well. Nix understood better than most that trust was something you worked at, not always something you earned in one fell swoop.

It was a fortress, built one moment at a time, and their fortress had been impenetrable before today. Yes, they dropped the drawbridge, and their mates roamed freely in and out, but the foundation was pure Gideon and Luca. Luca and Gideon.

When Gideon had walked away in anger (even if it hadn’t been aimed at Luca), failing to even acknowledge Luca’s pleas, Nix had watched that stronghold waver just for a second, and it had been even worse in the gym. Luca’s chosen shield against the hard things in life had turned into one of those hard things himself when Gideon had not allowed himself the comfort he sorely needed.

Nix might be new to this family and their dynamic, but he knew soulmates when he saw them. There’s a pain in his chest, like a sharp, pointy finger jabbing under his breastbone, and it’sGideon and Luca combined there—all he needs is their bites in return to connect with them.

AlphaBetaOmega,as the Goddess had divined.

He hasn’t any idea how he knows that, but his wolf enthusiastically agrees, with reminders of his own claims and the memory of the moon and that starlit waterfall and lagoon.

Deciding he’ll give them until tomorrow to get it together, he hears his text notification tone, and when he checks, it’s Erin just confirming if she has his consent to speak with Mr. Costas and his mates.

He texts back and agrees, wondering if he should be there to hash it all out. He trusts them to come up with a plan, and Nix decides he’ll allow himself this selfishness and let the professionals do what they do best without him—at least until tomorrow.

Nix climbs off of bed and heads into the shower, adding the amazing hot water and pressure to his list of things he’s grateful for today. Along with the soft yellow towels that still top the list—even though they don’t smell like pack—and this soft bed with its warm blankets, and the safety he finally feels when he closes his eyes.

Yes, tomorrow he’ll make sure they’re okay and check with Jamie about the plan. Then he lets sleep gently take him.

***

It’s cold in the closet, and Dawson has taken the blanket away for a slight that Nix has blocked out. His shivers of cold cause the muscles in his belly to clench, and they remind him it is sore because the rice he’d been given to eat tonight had been a week old.

After throwing it up over and over, he’d been on the toilet for even longer. But it had taken away the hunger pains for an hour, and that reprieve had been a relief. Even knowing theconsequences, he would do it again, just so he didn’t have to feel that gnawing agony for a little while.

He has just settled into a light sleep, arms tucked inside his shirt for warmth, knees drawn up to quiet the tearing ache in his behind when the closet door flings open, and a warm body is shoved into the pitch black, crashing straight onto him.

Nix’s arms can’t catch him in time, and he lands hard.

“Austin, I brought you a present. Don’t get too attached. I’ll be back before long to make sure he’s sorry he came looking for you.”

Nix knows right away by the scent that it’s Luca. His baby. He can’t remember why Luca isn’t with the pack anymore, but it’s enough that he should be terrified.

“Baby, why are you here? Where is Gideon? You shouldn’t have come. Dawson will hurt you,” he whispers.

“I had to come, Nix. I missed you. I’m scared, though. Can we leave? I want us to go home.” There is a note of fear in Luca’s voice he’s never heard before, and it makes his nausea return in full force.

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