Page 116 of Bonds of Fate

With another full-body shudder, he bends over and vomits onto the floor. Nix is surprised to see his rice from dinner, and for a second, he is back in that nightmare closet, cold and hurting from food poisoning and terrified for Luca. The scent of his fear is adding to his nausea, and it’s all he can do to hold back another bout of painful retching.

It doesn’t stop Luca from throwing his arms around him, though, heedless of his still-sharp claws and the overwhelming odor of vomit and terror—the scents are surprisingly similar. If he buries his nose in his mate’s warm throat, maybe it will all fade away.

There’s a groan, and Nix checks to see Jamie cautiously shifting from where he’s kneeling on the bed. As he turns his head, he spots Grayson standing defensively in the doorway, ready to stop him from leaving.

“Wh-What happened?”

“Baby, you had a nightmare.” Luca is so gentle and uses his t-shirt to wipe Nix’s chin like Nix is his actual baby.

Nix wants someone to open the window or turn on the fan because the mixture of scared-angry scents from his mates issetting his stomach and his wolf off, but he can’t find the words to ask.

In the following silence, and despite the tremors shaking his limbs and the cramping in his belly, he is relieved that no one asks him what the nightmare was about and grateful he doesn’t have to lie.

Because what would he say?

His mates already know that anything that comes for him in his dreams has nothing on reality.

Gideon, especially, is still watching him closely, as if he needs to be ready for whatever Nix might do next. But there’s concern in his gaze, softened by a small, encouraging smile.

He’s bleeding from long gouges in his forearms, and Grayson returns with an old towel and a wet cloth, smelling like a garden fire.

With a kiss on Nix’s head, Grayson hands the cloth to Luca, who busies himself washing Nix’s face.

Grayson urges Gideon onto the edge of the bed and sets about cleaning Gideon’s arms.

“Did I do that?” He whispers, horrified that he’d hurt his mate.

“It’s okay, kitten. I was holding you down so you didn’t hurt yourself, and you did not appreciate my efforts. They’re already closing up, no worries.” It’s a lie and a well-intentioned one, but at least his scent is level and rainwater-serene as he carefully regulates it.

“I’m sorry. I would ne–never hurt you on purpose.” He is suddenly so cold, and the tremors rattle his bones.

What if he’d really hurt someone? Hadn’t he just shown them all how strong he is? Fuck.

“We know you wouldn’t, Angel. Jay, let me see your arm, please.” Grayson is using the other end of Gideon’s towel toclean the blood off Jamie’s arm. “I think Finn needs to give this a few stitches, I’m sorry. It’s beyond my skills.”

“It’ll heal up in no time, pretty, just wrap it in the towel, please.”

The bite is vicious and deep—Nix can see it from where he’s sitting slumped against Luca, and when Grayson wraps it, Jamie flinches.

“Fucking hell, Jamie. I could have taken your arm off—Iwantedto take your arm off. Jesus.” Not Jamie’s arm–Hayes’s. He can still taste the tang of blood underneath the lingering taste of vomit.

Naked, muscular arms circle him as Jamie sits behind him, whispering, “This okay, baby boy?” and the heat of him sinks right past the cold into his bones.

“Very much, yes. I’m so sorry for hurting you. It got so muddled in my head. I’m sorry.” Jamie noses along his neck, licking his bite mark. It’s beyond comforting. “I’m sorry for scaring you, too.”

Nix’s nose burns with his own guilty scent, his deep voice gravelly from the growling and the stomach acid.

“Not scared of you, baby. Don’t be silly. It was just a bad dream. It’s all good now. Pfft.” Luca is still trembling, betraying his words.

“You’re still shaking. Don’t lie to me. Truth only, please. Now, please, tell me what happened?”

“If you’re sure? Gideon and I were sleeping—” At Nix’s raised eyebrow, he amends, “Sort of. And then we heard you call for me. We were next door because my sheets were mostly clean-ish—but that’s not the point. When we got here, you were…upset.”

Nix remembers the dream. The loneliness, the hunger, and then the fear for Luca. The terror that Hayes had sunk his claws into Luca in all the vile ways he knows how, and then the wolf’srage. But it’s the terror that remains, andupsetdoesn’t begin to cover it.

Nix’s default level of emotion has been set to high alert for so long that when every other emotion is cleared away, it’s only the fear that remains.

“What Luca means, kitten, is that you were terrified—and then you were terrifying when Grayson burst in. Then you were fangs-out, fighting for Luca. You were thrashing so hard I was worried you might break something. You ended up cutting your cheek with a claw and had started on your legs, so I restrained you—which went about as well as we should have expected.”

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