Page 12 of Bonds of Fate

Their stage presence was electrifying, and the sheer amount of fantasizing he’d done about the band was the first sign that he was probably very,verygay. What had started as an appreciation for the band as musicians quickly morphed into what Rowan was sure could be called an unhealthy obsession.

He’d tried to convince himself it was all just his dream to become a rockstar drummer, but it never felt like honesty to him, and if you couldn’t tell the truth in your own mind, then to who (whom?) could you?Whatever.

With that revelation in mind, he decided he’d abandon any rockstar dreams if he could just once get backstage and meet the band. Just once. If he failed, he’d give up and take up teaching—or maybe the military.

Back then, Long Road Home had a tradition of playing at a small venue in the heart of Nashville every year to honor their roots. The real hurdle had been sneaking past security to get backstage. So, he’d dressed for subterfuge that night: jeans, a fake “crew” shirt under his leather jacket, and just enough confidence to sell it.

His mom had dropped him off with a suspicious glint in her eye, and as luck would have it, he’d arrived just in time to heft the last amp out of the equipment truck and slide through the door with another crew member. It had been almost too easy. At seventeen, he was broad and strong, and in the end, all he needed was to look like he belonged.

The doors to the dressing rooms had been open but empty, and unsurprisingly, Rowan hadn’t known what to do once he’d gotten there. Then he’d spotted Luca’s iconic lavender-colored guitar in its case on the ratty sofa, but the room had smelled of the wildest forest-pine.

His heart had pounded hard in his chest, a rush of arousal so intense shooting straight to his dick, but it was the soft cough behind him that had him spinning around and his stomach dropping into his toes. Because there he was—Jay Rhodes.

His idol. His fantasy come true—and his fuckingmate.

Jay had been just as speechless, his mouth agape, when Leo barreled into him from behind. The three of them had stood there, gobsmacked and completely at a loss. It was fast-talking Luca who set off the next chain of events, doing everything but knocking Jay unconscious to get to Rowan—unaware, at the time, that Rowan was underage.

While Leo wrangled the fussing Luca, Jay had asked him his name and then gently inquired if he’d brought his guardian. Humiliated, Rowan blushed and called his mom so she could turn right around and come back.

Forgetting the subsequent conversation between his charmed mother and the objects of his deepest desires is still at the top of his list.Ugh.

Still, he had lived the ultimate fan dream come true that night—except for the fact that his mom had stood at the bar, chatting up the bartender with a drink he wouldn’t be able to enjoy for four more years.

After that, things had only gotten better when Jay heard him play. More than happy to ditch the drumming backtrack once Rowan turned eighteen and could legally play venues with booze on tap. Unsurprisingly, he’d blended in perfectly—that’s the magic of fated mates, isn’t it?

As the fourth member of their small pack and band, they treated him with respect and understanding, recognizing his youth and inexperience. Rowan had looked forward to the day he presented when he could finally share in all aspects of his mates’ lives.

Even though he remained unpresented, his mom had no qualms about letting Rowan move into the original Rhodes’ pack house because Jay was “honorable”. But Rowan’s nineteenth and twentieth birthdays had come and gone, and it had been increasingly challenging not to feel like something was wrong with him.

All his mates, now including Grayson and Finn, shared with him as much as they could, but he still felt left out. He didn’t blame them, as he knew they loved him and told him so often with chaste kisses and lots of innocent cuddles. They made sure that someone always stayed with him during the others’ ruts, but it still hurt—he wanted to bond with them, too. He wanted to give pleasure and receive it with the people he loved above all others.

As miracles would have it, the morning after he’d turned twenty-one, Rowan had awoken in his bed, feeling simultaneously sick and hot andoh, so joyful.He’d stumbled down into the kitchen to find Leo on his knees for Grayson.

The scent of their arousal and the sight of Grayson’s fangs piercing his lush lower lip had made Rowan come right then. His groan had surprised Leo enough that he had put teeth to Grayson’s cock in surprise.

The burning desire to fuck and dominate had Rowan growling at the other alpha, grabbing Leo, and carrying him to his room.

The rest of his presentation is foggy at best and a blackout at worst. Most of what he remembers is the burning fire in his belly to have his mates to himself.

In the months afterward, Rowan’s wolf became more and more difficult for him to control. While not outright challenging the pack hierarchy, it bordered on disrespect. Rowan hated it. Hated the added tension, the feeling that everyone he loved was walking on eggshells, and worse, that his pack alphatensedevery time he entered a room or started a conversation. It was a marked contrast to the affection Jay had shown him during the previous four years.

During his first official rut, he’d tried to keep Leo sequestered with him in the nest, his wolf fiercely possessive. But Jay had shown him, several times over, that he was no match for their pack alpha. There was an overwhelming sense of relief when his wolf finally figured out he wasn’t in charge and had begrudgingly backed down.

It was only afterward that they discovered he was an enigma. But Rowan—who prided himself on his ambivalence toward genuine drama—couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe he was doomed.

The news made sense to his mates, who had sat him down and taught him about how Rowan’s wolf was strong and that his dominant enigma traits were designed to lead a pack. He’d been so confused. If he is fated to be a part ofthispack–and heis–then why give him a wolf who pushed so hard and who tried to usurp at every given opportunity?

It was terrifying and exhausting because Rowan-the-person did not want that at all.

Gideon had surmised that Rowan’s place in the pack functioned as a sort of safety valve—if Jay could not lead, the pack would have options.Fucking options.It also served as a reminder to Jay’s wolf that he had to be strong enough for his pack, continuously earning his position.

That was the way of wolves.

However, that did not mean Rowan didn’t have to earn his mates’ respect, too. Gideon then offered to help Rowan train himself and not his wolf to run the show. He’d readily agreed, and since then, with Gideon’s help, Rowan has learned to temper his enigma instincts with self-control, determination, and a new iron will.

He’sstilllearning.

Right now, though, Rowan knows that all his training means nothing against the surge of instinct ignited by the sounds of his omega moaning and whining under Luca’s hands.

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