Page 3 of Bonds of Fate

Nix can’t help but feel that—for him—it’s not just a voice in his head; it feels deeper, something woven into him, inseparable. Still, he’s willing to start with Finn’s explanation. For now.

His rumbling tummy reminds him the rolls look good. “May I have one?”

Gideon is so happy that Nix has asked for food for himself that there are two on his plate within minutes, his mate’s red ears and big smile proof of his delight. There’s so much to get used to, and all of it makes sense in this new version of his life; it’s just difficult to reconcile how much his life has changed—how muchhe’schanged.

He feels like there’s even more coming—things that scare him, things that might be too hard to accept, things that could threaten his ability to embrace this new life. But he really wants to believe that his place here, with these men, is his destiny. He’ll just have to go at his own pace, keep asking questions like he did this morning, and let himself enjoy feeling safe for the first time in forever.

He can do that, right?

Sleepy Luca and Rowan soon follow the scent of fresh baking into the kitchen, accepting iced coffee from Finn, who has a hot barista vibe going. There are gentle coffee-flavored pecks to his mouth, and they eat Gideon’s cinnamon buns in the kitchen or take plates out to the couch in front of the fire.

Grayson wanders in a bit later, skipping the kitchen altogether. He walks straight up to Nix on the couch, kisses him on the lips, takes a big bite of his second cinnamon bun, then flops down with his head on Nix’s lap, nose pressed against hisbelly, and promptly falls back to sleep. Nix sinks his clean hand into the soft black locks.

When they are done eating, Nix offers to clean up, but Gideon declines, while Rowan and Luca volunteer to organize an online grocery order with dire warnings from Gideon about too much junk. They disappear into a large pantry with a tablet and begin bickering about the merits of PopTarts versus Toaster Strudel.

Finn returns to the couch and sneaks under the corner of Nix’s blanket, his tablet in hand. “I thought we might order you some clothing and shoes and stuff. So you can have your own things, you know?”

It’s thoughtful and so kind, but the–his wolfwhines at having to wear clothes that don’t smell like their mates, and now Nix can smell burnt cookies.So that’s distress. Huh. He also hasn’t got any money—Dawson made sure he never had enough to truly escape—and no way to earn any. His face burns with shame, and his palms grow damp with sweat.

Swallowing his embarrassment, he murmurs, “I can’t pay for anything new, Finnie. I wasn’t allowed to have a job, so I never earned any of my own money. But I could probably try that now? Although I don’t have a lot of experience, so maybe nothing complicated?”

With that feeling in his gut roiling, he realizes that the most pressing is that Nix doesn’t want to leave the house—Dawson is out there. What if he finds him? Or worse, his mates? Dawson is devious and cruel, and just the thought of being in the outside world makes Nix’s anxiety surge. This time, the whimper escapes out loud.

Gideon pokes his head out of the kitchen pantry, and Grayson sits up, pushing his shoulder-length black hair out of his face. “Angel?”

His genuine concern tips the scales and breaks down the dam that had been holding Nix’s emotions in check. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I know I’m a useless freeloader. Maybe I can have a few more days?” He’d heard that enough from Dawson, and it’shisrecriminations he hears coming out of his own mouth. “I’m sorry, I don’t want to be a bur–”

“Nix! Stop, please. You’re okay.” Finn grabs his hand. “You are not a burden or a freeloader. If you want to work or go to school sometime in the future after you’re feeling better, then we’ll help you do that. If you want to walk around the house naked or in a clown costume for the rest of your life, reading anime and watching Supernatural, you can do that, too. You can do anything and everything you want.”

He knows Finn is trying to help, but he can’t hear anything but Dawson embedded in the buzzing in his head.

“Angel, let us take care of you for a while. We have more money than we could ever spend, and Jay is always out there making more. Or you can work as much as you want—when you’re ready.” Grayson rubs a soothing hand over his back. “Hey, speak of the devil…”

The security system beeps, signaling Jay’s return.

In the next second, Nix is out of his seat, flying across the room and straight into Jamie’s arms. Jamie drops his laptop and phone with a crash, but he doesn’t seem to notice. “Baby! What the fu—?”

Nix’s wolf wants Jamie—wants his strong arms and his reassurances. He wants him to say Nix is worthy of them. Why Jamie, and not the others at that moment, Nix doesn’t know. Maybe it’s because he’s known Jamie the longest. Maybe it’s because Jamie will know what to do with this overwhelming sense of impending doom.

“What brought this on? Finn?”

“It’s not them, Jamie. Finnie is nice. He wanted to buy me some new stuff, but I’m not working, and I don’t have any money and don’t want to wear new things or the stuff from Dawson’splace. I want to wear the things that smell like you guys. Please don’t make me—”

He’s going to be sick. His mates will think he’s useless—that he’s no good. They won’t want him; they’ll send him away. He’ll go back to being afraid, hurt, and hungry.

Dawson will find him.

Nix pushes Jamie away, but he doesn’t make it far before he’s doubled over, vomiting onto the floor. Again and again, until there’s nothing left but bile. Until he physically can’t anymore. Black spots dance in his vision, and his arms and legs seize with painful cramps.

Then everything goes black and quiet.

When he comes to, he’s back in the nest; Jamie is underneath him, with Grayson on his left and Luca on his right. He’s shivering so hard that his muscles are aching. There’s a large hand rubbing his back, and when he opens his eyes, he sees Luca has been crying. The mocha scent is…sad—smelling like day-old burnt coffee in the pot.

“Luc? Sad?” He touches the boy’s soft cheek with a finger, and it comes away wet.

“I’m sad because you’re sad, baby. We’ll cry together, okay? You’re safe. Alpha won’t let anyone hurt you, and you can wear my stuff when you want, although I don’t really own any pants.” His voice trails away, but it makes Nix smile a tiny bit.

Alpha. Yes. That word settles his wolf. Jamie ishisalpha.

---