Page 4 of Bonds of Fate

“What happened?” Nix asks because he tastes vomit in his mouth but can’t remember how he got to the nest.

Jamie’s voice rumbles in his chest, and a smoky campfire scent fills the room. “You’re all right, Nix. You panicked. Fuck. We aren’t forcing you out. If I’m honest, I don’t think we’ll beable to let you leave the house at all—let alone by yourself—for the foreseeable future.”

Gray snorts and mutters, “Or ever.”

Nix grabs Luca’s hand and brings it under his chin. The reassurance brings relief. He’s safe here. They don’t want him to go.

“That’s okay with me. I’m sorry about this. I’m usually better at keeping that stuff to myself—”

Luca looks horrified. “What? No! You don’t need to do that…tell him, Gray.” His voice cracks, and he begins to cry in earnest now.

“Whoa, hey. Wait..okay, okay. Please stop crying. I’m not worth it.” His words only make his mate cry harder. Nix’s chest tightens, panic rising all over again. “What did I say?” His wolf is losing its mind at Luca’s obvious distress, claws raking at his insides. He needs to fix it—now.

“Come on, Luc, let’s find Gideon or Leo. I’ll be right back, Angel.”

“Gray, my baby needs to know he’s worth everything.” Grayson hoists Luca up like a koala, and Luca yells out as he’s being carried away from the nest. “I love youuuuu, Nixie.”

Nix doesn’t know what happened, but he hates to admit it’s easier to manage his feelings without the barrage of burnt coffee and a teary-eyed Luca radiating overwhelming sympathy. He just wants to forget, to get back to happy, to make this his new normal.

Of course, Jamie won’t let it slide. Nix tries to sit up on his own, but Jamie rolls them onto their sides instead. “Nix, what happened downstairs?”

“Nothing—I don’t know, but it’s okay. I handled it badly. Sorry to be so weird. Finn is right; I can’t go around wearing other people’s clothes,” he scoffs.

His wolf whines, though, and it hurts something deep inside. Placing a hand on his belly, he clenches his jaw and tries to think happy thoughts. “I can pick something out and then just pay you back later. If that’s all right. Let me go brush m–”

“Nix. Stop,” Jamie interrupts, his voice almost pleading. “Finn wasn’t telling you that you needed your own things. He wanted to gift them to you, to make you feel at home here, but if you don’t want them, that’s all right. As for the other—you don’t have to talk about it right now. We just want you tobehappy—not justactlike it. You know what I mean?”

Nix did—a long time ago. It’s just that now he isn’t sure what ‘happy’ feels like. He’s locked those parts of himself away a long time ago. “I’ll try, Jamie. I’ll try. I’m sorry. Will Luca be okay?”

“He will. Luca is good at asking for what he needs, and I think our pack is good at giving it to him unconditionally.” That makes Nix happy because his Luca deserves to be loved that much.

“I want to go check on him.” He moves to leave the nest, but Jamie pulls him back.

“Maybe you should rest a bit. You were just sick, and Luca says panic attac–”

Nix cuts him off. “I’m fine, Jamie. Truly. Please. Let’s go and make sure Luca is okay, but maybe I should put some pants on first?”

Nix isn’t sure Jamie is going to accept his reassurances at face value, but after a moment’s hesitation, he gives him a tiny nod and helps Nix to his feet.

They find a pair of Finn’s track shorts with a drawstring, which seems better than free-balling—to everyone but Luca, and maybe even Nix, who was enjoying the freedom that just a t-shirt brings.

He washes his face and brushes his teeth again, letting the routine wash most of the episode away. Mostly. The low-grade anxiety still simmers under his skin like a swarm of ants.

It means he’ll just have to work harder at forgetting, right?

Easier said than done, though, because when they reach the bottom of the stairs, Nix finally tunes in enough to hear voices coming from the living room. They’re not pack voices, and his wolf does not like it one bit.

A growl rumbles in his chest, and he feels his fangs drop. Jay spins around just in time to intercept Nix’s charge.

There’s only one thought, one driving instinct: rid their home of the intruders.

“Gideon! Fuck. Get in here!” Jay’s voice is sharp, and Gideon arrives at a run, eyes wide. Nix’s wolf is furious at being kept from the strangers in his den, the growling deepening as both men struggle to push him backward into the powder room. The door slams after Gideon steps inside with him, a hand gripping the back of Nix’s neck.

Nix whirls, snapping his teeth harshly.

“Nix. Enough.” Gideon’s voice is firm, but Nix can still hear the unfamiliar voices through the door. His wolf rages. If Gideon is in here, who’s protecting the others out there?

Lunging for the door, he almost gets it open before Gideon blocks his exit. Wide-eyed, Gideon repeats himself. “Nix.Enough.” There’s a push behind the words, something sharp and intrusive that tickles the back of Nix’s mind unpleasantly. His wolf howls in anger.

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