Page 64 of Bonds of Fate

When Jamie had explained a bit about how Luca needs Gideon and how Gideon needs Luca, Nix had been confused. As he’d told Gideon, he had zero knowledge of what Jamie refers to as the BDSM community—an acronym he’ll look up later if he can find a computer somewhere—, but he doesn’t suppose it means anything more in this context than what they’ve already told him.

Luca needs Gideon to control his pleasure and pain and, well, most of his decisions—if what Nix has seen in practice since he’s been awake is accurate—and Luca seems happier about it.

Gideon also doesn’t see Luca as a burden. He treasures him and the trust his love has placed in his hands.

It’s the perfect melding of need and desire, love and trust, practice and restraint.

Jamie had called it beautiful, and Nix is learning to see exactly that.

The only person he needs to talk to about it still is Luca.

Gideon had asked him to be kind and gentle, and Nix feels a churning in his stomach at the fear that he could fuck this up. But the first thought he had waking up was that he was going to protect this sweet, beautiful boy from ever knowing genuine hurt, and that means even from himself.

As he sometimes does since coming to Nashville, he sends out a quick prayer, hoping that now his words can be heard.Please let me say the right things. I love Luca. Uh…thank you.

He hears a song being hummed on the other side of the door, though when he taps lightly, it cuts off.

“Nixie?”

When Nix opens the door and peeks inside, Luca is kneeling on a bed pillow, a bright red lollipop in his mouth. The first thing Nix notices is that his lips are sticky.

But he’s quickly distracted by the candy-apple-red ballerina-style dress. It’s tight across his chest, the top edge just barely skimming his perfect nipples.

And he’s glowing—so happy to see him.

“You came.”

Nix has an armful of happy-smelling, chocolatey, cherry-from-the-lollipop Luca, and he sticks his nose in his throat to get more of the scent.

It goes a bit burnt-coffee at his shyness, and Nix thinks it might be fear.

“I wasn’t sure you would come. Gideon said you might not want to play with us.”

Ah.Gently, Nix.

“I want to be with you, Luca, in every way we can, and Ireallywant to keep my promise.” He wiggles his eyebrows just to hear him giggle. “And I think I do want to…play.I think. I’m excited and, well,…” He gestures to his already-tented t-shirt. “Excited.”

“But…?” Therein lies the rub. Luca puts the lollipop in the trash can and takes Nix’s hands in his.

“But I want to be sure you’re okay. I trust you, and I trust Gideon, but I don’t know how any of this works. My experiences haven’t been the nicest…”

They both flinch because he hadnotmeant to say that.

“Baby.” Luca pulls them both to the floor, half on and half off the pillow. Luca grunts in surprise. “Oops, forgot for a moment about my toy. Whoa-nelly!”

“That’s what I mean. Are you really okay? It looks uncomfortable. Am I being weird by asking? Everyone seems good with it, and maybe I’m just sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.”

“Is that what has you smelling so worked up? Whew. Um…okay, give me a second.” Luca closes his eyes and then appears to be talking to himself.

It’s fascinating, and Nix thinks he can learn all kinds of things from how genuine Luca is with his instincts, self-awareness, and zest for life.

After a minute, his beautiful eyes pop open. “I want to have a long conversation with you about how Gideon and I ended up here. I do. But I’m sort of alreadydowna bit. Do you know what I mean? He’s already started this, and if I spend too much time talking about it with you, all the work he’s done will be wasted. Ugh. I’m not making sense, am I?”

But he is.

Gideon had shared about the floaty feeling, and Nix understands that it’s a process. If it’s something Luca needs, Nix could ruin that. So, he absolutely will not be forcing that conversation right now.

“Gideon says it’s like I get when I scent too much. Floaty? If you are anything like me and it feels half as good, then I do not want anything ruined for you. Just tell me you’re good.”

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