Page 40 of Mountain Defender

It’s the most disconcerting feeling; having these blank spaces in my mind, like a half-solved puzzle with the rest of the pieces missing. And the pressure behind it, demanding me to just remember before it’s too late. Before another woman could suffer the same fate as me.

Or worse. What if the next woman doesn’t survive it? I’m not even sure howIdid.

“So, after you went upstairs,” Enzo continues, his gaze steady on mine, “do you recall seeing anything out the window? Or hearing anything outside?”

I suck in a deep breath, trying to fill my constricting lungs. “I don’t think I heard anything. Just Elmore and Toby’s claws on the hardwood. I remember thinking I needed to give them a trim.”

“Okay.” Enzo nods. “What about outside? Any lights? Possibly headlights approaching? Anything out of the ordinary?”

My heart speeds up as I cast my mind back to that night. Standing in the bathroom, looking into the mirror, and then… It’s all blank.

“I can’t remember.” Gray edges around my vision. Waves of hot and cold alternate, prickling my back with sweat. My muscles tense with the instinctive need to escape. Voice pitching up, I add, “I keep trying. But nothing works.”

“It’s okay,” he replies kindly. “I’m sure it’ll come back to you in time.”

“What if it doesn’t?” The fear I’ve been trying to control bursts free. “What if I never remember? There’s no guarantee I will. What if there’s no way to identify this guy? How can I gohome? How can I go back to my regular life if there’s someone still out there, trying to kill me?”

Gage’s hand stiffens on my leg. “You’re not going back to your house if he’s still out there, Rory. That’s just not happening.”

Tears prickle behind my eyes. “I can’t stay here forever, Gage. I have the dogs to take care of. A house. You guys have other clients. Cases. If this goes on… Do I move? Start over someplace new? Try to hide?—”

“No.” It’s low. Rough. Almost angry. “No way, Ror. You’re not leaving Bliss. Not leaving Vermont.”

“Gage.” It’s Ronan, his voice a warning.

“What if this goes on for weeks? Months?” I turn to face Gage. “I won’t take up all your time when there are so many other people who need help. It’s not right. And—” My voice cracks.

“Ror.”Gage’s features pinch, his forehead creasing unhappily. “It’s not like that.” He pauses. Inspects my face. Then he stands and reaches his hand out to me. “Let’s take a break. Okay?”

I take another deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to convince my panicking body to settle. “No, it’s okay. I’m fine.”

“I think a break is a good idea,” Enzo agrees. “In fact, I think we’re good for today. We can meet another day if there’s anything else we need to ask you.”

“Absolutely,” echoes Alec. “You gave me a ton of great info to work from.”

Looking between Gage and the rest of his team, I’m torn. I don’t want to be that person, the one who lets her emotions control her. The person who’s too weak to do what needs to be done. But then again… the lure of leaving, of taking Gage’s hand and going anywhere but here, getting fresh gulps of air and letting my lungs fully expand again…

“It’s okay,” Gage says quietly. “You’ve been at this long enough. Let’s go home. Watch some puppies and kittens. Find something to eat.”

“Alright.” I grasp his hand, letting him pull me to my feet. “But could we go for a walk first? Just to get some fresh air?”

At first, I can tell he wants to argue. To insist on taking me home so I can rest. But then he nods. “Okay, Ror. We’ll take a walk.”

So we leave the barn, my hand still tucked inside Gage’s, as the rest of the guys call out kind goodbyes and well-wishes. Enzo issues a standing invitation for dinner, explaining, “Winter keeps asking. She’d love to have you over as soon as you’re up to it.”

“Lark wants to meet you, too,” Knox adds. “Maybe we could all have dinner one night this week.” He smirks at Enzo. “Assuming Winter is cooking, and not you.”

“My cooking is just fine,” Enzo retorts with a smile. “Winter doesn’t have any complaints.”

Just before we walk out the door, Knox calls after us, “Once your concussion is better, maybe you could playWorld of Warcraftwith me and Gage. We could use another player to help with some of the quests.”

As we step back into the sunlight, I look up at Gage. “World of Warcraft?”

His cheeks go pink. “Yeah. Me and Knox started playing a while back. Just late at night, when one of us is having a hard time sleeping. And an old teammate of mine, Webb, will sometimes jump in to play with us, too. It’s a good distraction when your mind keeps going to places you’d rather it didn’t.”

The reminder of Gage’s own experiences is enough to chase away my own rising anxiety. Of course he has bad memories. I sensed it from the first time we met. Though I don’t know details about his time in the Army, I know he joined straight out of highschool and spent more than ten years as a Night Stalker, flying in and out of some of the most dangerous places on Earth. How could he not have seen things he’d rather forget?

It’s enough to put my own experience back into perspective.

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