Page 40 of Darlin'

"I've missed you!" I cry, squeezing him with all my might. "I've missed you so damn much!"

"I've missed you too, Savvy, but"—Beau groans in pain—"I'm a tad injured here, so if you wouldn't mind loosening your grip a little, that would be?—"

"Shoot! I'm sorry!" I pull away quickly, sniffling. "It's just..." My breath catches in my throat as I cup his cheek. "I can't believe it's you. It's really you. I've...I've been waiting for this day for nearly three years, and...and you're here. You're right here." Tears roll down my face. "I can't believe I found you. I finally found you, Beau."

"What do you meanfound me?" My brother blinks, a frown marring his forehead. "You knew where I was, Savannah."

"What?" I sniffle, taken aback. "No...no,I didn't."

"Yes, you did," he says, certain. "Momma said she told you."

"Momma?" I drop my hand, stomach bubbling with fury. "You've talked to momma?"

Beau squints, confused. "Yes?—"

"When?" I seethe through my teeth.

"As soon as I left."

CHAPTER 12

Web of Lies

I rememberthe night Beau ran away. The memory is so vivid, so clear, so painstakingly unforgettable. That night we watched him cross the stage and receive his diploma. We were all so proud. Daddy was the proudest. They awarded his son a full-ride scholarship to the University of Alabama, his own alma mater.Roll Tide!It's all we've ever heard. Beau went to a grad party that night. I dropped him off. It was the last time we hugged. That morning, he was gone.

And we never heard from him again.

Or so I thought.

"What do you mean as soon as you left?" I ask, balling my hand into a fist.

"I called momma." Beau winces, shifting his body into an upright position on the couch. "'Bout five weeks after I left." He scans my distraught features, his own equally puzzled. "She didn't tell you? Really?" I don't need to reply. My fuming features say it all. "Shit..."

"I can't believe this." Shaking my head, I swallow away a bitter taste of disgust. "What did you tell dear momma when you called her? Did you tell her where you were? Did she know?" Beau tenses up as he nods. "Seriously? What...I can't believe she didn't tell me. I can't believe she sat there foryearsand watched me cry." Beau tries to comfort my heightened anger, but it's no use. I snap my burning gaze at my brother. "Why didn't you callme?" Instantly, like a steaming pot submerged into an ice bath, I pause, asking in a trembling tone, "And why... why did you leave me in the first place?"

"I had to leave, Savvy." Beau releases a long, cathartic breath as if he's been holding his truth in for years. "I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't handlethemanymore."

"What do you meanhandle them?" I ask, frowning. "I know momma and daddy aren't made of peach cobbler and sprinkles, but you always said they weren't that bad."

Beau casts me a knowing look. "Not bad? Savvy, do youreallythink they weren't that bad?" He clicks his tongue as my frown deepens. "You'll see it soon, Sav. One day you'll wake up and see that those were just lies we told ourselves to keep us from drowning."

"I...I never felt like I was drowning," I whisper, chest aching with vibrating lies. "It wasn't...I mean, they weren't..."

"Sav—" Beau takes my hand, wrapping his fingers around my wrist. A sad, weak smile forms on his face. "Hmm...maybe you found a shore when I was gone."

I pull my hand away, uncomfortable. "I don't know what you mean."

Beau doesn't elaborate. He has no need. It's a topic we haven't touched since he smashed my scale in with a hammer one night and deleted all my social media accounts.

"Listen, Savvy, I know you might not understand, but..." He sighs. "I couldn't keep living that way. It's like...it's like ever since I could run, dad had a ball in my hand. And before I evenknewwhat a careerwas, he had one fucking picked out for me. He had itallplanned out like I was this science experiment, this perfect little replica of his own dreams that never did come true."

I blink. "But you loved playing football?—"

"I had no choicebutto love it," Beau snaps, but his anger isn't directed at me. "You think I wanted to spend every fucking weekend at practice? You think I wanted to miss out on dates and parties and a goddamn social life? No. But I did it. And Istilldon't know why." He closes his eyes, inhaling a long breath. "Sometimes I think back on those days, and Ican't believeI never said shit to him. I just did whatever he wanted. Always. Like some puppet. Like his own fucking personal marionette doll." Beau's jaw locks with hatred as he meets my hurt gaze. "I left, Savannah, because he'd never let me cut those strings." He nods down at my wrists again. "I'm glad you were able to cut mommas. Even if it was just one."

"But you didn't have to leave, Beau," I state defensively as I absentmindedly rub my wrists. "You could've just deferred 'Bama. You could've taken the summer off?—"

Beau scoffs. "That's what I was planning ondoing, Sav. I just wanted one summer. I just wanted a few fucking months to myself. No one telling me what to do, what to eat, what to think. I wanted freedom. Just a little fucking space."

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